Hello everyone, my name is Elâra and I'm a 20 years old girl from the country of Leftovia. Since I was a child, I've always been interested in demographics. Since they've discovered a second reality, my interest in it got deeper. We called our Universe "Pan" and we're trying to understand if there are other realities other than these two. The second reality is inhabited with humans who have a completely different culture than ours, and we're trying to understand their culture. They have very advanced technology and weapons, but they will not attack first. Better not provoke them.
I've always wondered why every country has a different culture: opinions and behaviours. Shouldn't humans be all the same everywhere? I need to understand what causes these differences. And as we're communicating with humans from another reality, I wonder if Pan could be infinite and there are infinite cultures in it. Could it be that there is a superior being that manipulates people's thoughts? It makes no sense that Leftovians care so much about a person's skin color, while Listanis don't. Listanis always make very long lists, Leftovians don't. But we speak the same language, we just live in different continents. Could it be? I believe in this entity.
This entity decided that I was born in a country with boring and bigoted people. I think I'm an anti-conformist, I hold different beliefs and behaviours than the average population. I am the girl who causes outrage. They call me names, I've been subject to discrimination. This is not a place of equality, agree with them or be insulted. Leftovia, a socialist country full of racist people pretending to be against racism. The hypocrisy here reaches unbelievable levels. We are brainwashed to believe in lies, even if they're evident in front of our eyes. We shall keep telling lies. The truth is not accepted here. What a dystopia. Now I'm going to sleep, I'll tell you more tomorrow. I hope things will get better in the future, because now it's pretty bad.
ONE YEAR LATER
I totally forgot about this diary. Wondering how things are now? Horrible. People started protesting in mass, and our government arrested everyone who protested. More than half of Leftovia's population is in prison now, and I'm one of the luckiest people that knows and was granted access to the "Anti-Conformist Club", which is located 30 feet underground. You can only join this club by invitation and it's severely forbidden to tell any outsider about this club. Technology and Internet are also forbidden here, because the governments can locate us and bomb this club. Here people are so weird, I love it. It's allowed to talk about the protest, but it's discouraged, because many people here have been traumatized by that. There's a guy here, his name is Ökaan, he's really nice and cute. He often asks me for hugs, and I gladly hug him. Feels good to love someone. Here is full of nice people, and even C̆ţük, who seems to be a shy guy, is really nice and cute. At the moment I'm not interested in having a romantic relationship with anyone here, but I'll think about it.
Down here is much better than up there. The government doesn't know about this club, and we pray to Pan, that the government will never know about us. We are a self-sustainable community. We grow vegetables in greenhouses, and we generate synthetic water through electrolysis, then artificially add minerals to make it wholesome. I miss looking at the blue sky, but I know I'll never see it again, and for good reasons. May Pan keep us safe, because we never know what's gonna happen next.
I look at Ökaan, and he smiles. I wonder how things will go. I hope everything will go well, and we should enjoy life while we can. We never know whether the government will locate us and bomb this club. I fear it's just gonna be a matter of time before things go wrong, but I seriously hope everything will go well. Whatever happens, it's Pan's will, and I know She can be cruel. Let's hope She will have mercy at us.
ONE DAY LATER
Today was a beautiful day. I talked with Ökaan a lot and we shared a really nice conversation. We also hugged each other a lot. I know he loves being hugged, and I think it's a really comfortable feeling as well. After the human-made disaster that happened this year, when millions of people got arrested and locked up in jails, it's no wonder some people got traumatized and need a lot of hugs. I wonder if that's the real reason he needs hugs, though. Leftovia is facing a very difficult moment now, but we're safe underground for now. I really hope the government won't come to get us. We all live in fear, but strangely, nobody else is suspicious about spies infiltrating in this club. It could be very possible that someone on here is a spy that works for the government and that spy will probably gonna arrest and/or kill us. Nobody looks suspicious so far, but we never know. Gotta be careful about who enters this club, because the risk of an infiltrating spy is too high.
C̆ţük doesn't talk much. He spends most of his time alone looking at other people. I wonder how he doesn't get bored. I tried talking to him but he doesn't reply much. It felt more like a monologue rather than a dialogue. Being in anti-conformist club can feel uncomfortable, indeed. You have to earn respect and love here, but you know that when you get respected, it's totally genuine, unlike the fake respect and love that was up there. Any disagreement or criticism, especially towards protected groups, could result in jail for the "hater". Down here all emotions are genuine and nothing is fake. Here you have to be thick-skinned to handle some situations, but violence is severely banned, so your body will always be safe. Cannot say the same for your emotions, though. Ökaan is definitely my best friend here, he's really nice and doesn't hate. He's good for me. Anyway, life down here goes as usual, but people are starting to wonder whether we should found our own country with our own laws and currency.
TEN DAYS LATER
These days we talked a lot about founding our own country. We need a name for that, though. I proposed the name "Operation Butterfly". Why? I don't know, it's pretty random. People didn't like the name I proposed, not that much. We need a name, a currency... well, lots of stuff. We also need to think about the first generation of children who will be born here. They will never know what's above the surface. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but anyway we'll need schools, hospitals, markets and recreative areas. We can't keep living like this, it's not healthy. I told people about this problem and they agreed with me. We'll start building services soon, and life down here will be much better than the life up there. Day after day, life here gets increasingly boring. But perhaps life is boring in general, or perhaps I'm just a boring person. I brought some old videogames here, you know, the ones who didn't need connection to the Internet.
My friendship with Ökaan is getting stronger. Should I really trust him? He might be a spy. I know I'm paranoid, but under a totalitarian regime, you really cannot trust anyone. He looks like a good person though, but spies are good at disguising themselves. I don't think he's a spy, but you never know. We talked a lot about how he felt sad up there. The regime imposed a taboo on hugs, saying that physical touch between people would lead to violence in the long run, and that would be an unstoppable slippery slope. We have been fed with lies and non-sense, our mind is still confused as to what is the truth. A conflictual idea of knowledge haunts us. Telling the truth up there was illegal, and as soon as we kept repeating those lies over and over again, we started believing in them. So many people had been brainwashed, and only now we're starting to heal our minds with the long forgotten truth. Real life is not like the movies: the bad guys always win, because they're stronger.
ONE DAY LATER
We continued the talk about founding our own country. The wise ones are planning things already. Unfortunately I'm not a wise one. I work as a cook for now and I'm studying to become an engineer. I will help building buildings in the future. Living underground is not always easy, but we try to enjoy the little things. Do we really need a currency, though? Could we start the first moneyless society of our world? I don't think that's impossible, far from it. Leftovian government was trying to do it, but we'll do it in a better way, with more freedom and less oppression! Together we'll achieve our goals and win! When we feel sad and miss our life up there, we just need to remember we're like a family down here. Anti-conformism, though always in different forms, unites us. Our desire for freedom is what makes us so strong. Sometimes I miss life up there, too. People loved me and were kind, but they're probably in jail now. People down here are much more distant and unfriendly, but Ökaan and Čţük are nice.
Ökaan needs to be hugged and comforted often. He told me the last thing he saw before coming here was his older brother getting arrested. I understand how he feels. It's a hell up there now. I wonder how many of my former friends are in jail now. Leftovian government is truly evil, they advocate for the "hate prevention", which basically means "anti-conformist genocide". They lie, manipulate the language and make words meaningless. People down here are sometimes still confused about the language we should use, so we're taking our original language back, slowly, things are getting clearer. Their lies have brainwashed us, but soon we'll be able to distinguish between true and false again. Čţük has been brainwashed particularly badly. He just wants to be a "good" guy, however, his idea of "good" is strongly influenced by the Leftovian government, and I can see he still feels ashamed when he does something that the Leftovian government considers to be "wrong".
28 DAYS LATER
Finally! Our new country has been founded! We called it "Subgaia", and the new currency is the Sxøx. I'm also very happy to announce that the first baby has been born here! She's a female and her name is Olivia. The doctors are taking good care of her~Is this the freedom we really wanted? It feels good to be free, but again, I do miss my old friends. There's no use in crying over things I have no control over, though. This is my new family. Even though it looks like they couldn't care less about me, and sometimes looks like as if they hated me, I still love this life. Ökaan and Čţük are now my two best friends here. I feel like they love me, but one thing is sure: I love them so much. I'm trying to, uhm... un-brainwash Čţük. Poor guy, he actually thinks hating others is love, and that violence is peaceful. Leftovian government's brainwashing sure is powerful. I will take care of his mind, and will give him hugs eventually if he wants to. Leftovian government imposed a taboo on hugs and back rubs.
Ökaan is a cool guy, he's never been brainwashed that much, because he has a strong mind. He's a proud anti-conformist like me. Čţük says he wants to be an anti-conformist like us, but also says he feels too ashamed and guilty to do certain things such as hugging and saying "I love you". I'm pretty sure I will convince him to stop feeling ashamed and guilty eventually. Leftovian government had planned this in advance. They now have control of a huge portion of our planet's land, and they jail anyone dissenting from their propaganda. It's a totalitarian regime, but now we're mostly safe from them down here, at least, I truly hope that. We are very loyal to our Daughter Subgaia. I feel like I don't need my old friends anymore, as sad as this sounds. Ökaan and Čţük will probably be my best friends forever. I think I'm both happy and nostalgic here. The "happy" life I used to live up there is now gone forever, and I shall welcome the underground in my life. Forever and always.
FIVE DAYS LATER
Great! I think Čţük has finally been un-brainwashed and in fact he has given me a big hug~it felt so good. He now says he loves himself, me and Ökaan. This is great. Love never won up there, but down here, people are free to love or hate anyone they want. Some people are very hated, indeed, mainly because they're very arrogant. I tried to be a friend of one of those hated people more than once, but it didn't end well. They insulted me and also didn't want to be my friend. Fair enough, that's their choice. To be fair, I'm Čţük's only friend. He's still quite shy, but we're working to give him a more charming personality. The first step is surely love yourself. If you don't love yourself, you'll get sad. You'll cry and you won't want to do anything. You'll basically get depressed. Love yourself, forgive yourself for the wrong things you have done. We're all humans, we all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. You're probably much better than the Leftovian government, who jails millions of people to quench their thirst of power. You're probably much better than that. I wonder if non-violence will stay here after a few generations. Probably not, human nature is often unpredictably violent. I don't think anyone up there knows about underground, though. We're super secret. Will we ever tell our kids what's "up there"? My mind is conflicted: should they know about it? Maybe we should tell them but never let them go there? And honestly I don't know if someone discovered anything else about the alternate reality.
The 4000 songs I illegally downloaded to listen down here are getting boring. Playing videogames is the only thing that is left for me to do. There's no Internet, there's no news, I have no idea what's happening up there, but honestly I don't want to know. It must be a hell up there. Without the Internet and without news, my life has changed. Social interactions are getting genuine again. We are discovering what it means to socially interact with each other in real life again, and these interactions are more genuine than the ones had up there, where we had so many limitations in what we can say or do. Here there are very few limitations in what we can say or do, except of course the basic stuff such as no physical violence and no threats of violence. The food here is grown in artificial greenhouses with artificial UV radiation, since no living being down here sees the light of the Sun. A few people here even got seasonal affective disorder, but doctors are trying to balance that with chromatic therapy and psychotherapy. Doctors here don't care about hoarding loads of money (unlike what happened up there), they just care about healing people from their ills. That's what being a doctor should be about, not harming people in order to gain money and power. I fear that we'll never see the light of the Sun again, but living down here is surely better than living in a totalitarian hell they call "the house of peace".
TEN DAYS LATER
Today, something really surprising (and pleasing) happened. Something that made me realize Čţük has finally gotten rid of the brainwashing. He asked me to... well, he asked me to fart in his face. He looked very embarrassed while asking that and looked like he was almost crying, but I comforted him, hugged him and said I agreed to fart in his face. I never did such a thing before, so I had no idea how to did it, and neither did he. First thing we tried was him kneeling and putting his nose near my ass. It took us a lot of time, especially for me to fart, but at the end I did a fart that sounded like *blooorpttt* and he said that smelled awesome. I was so happy for two reasons: the most important one was that I was making him happy, and the other reason is that the brainwashing from the Leftovian government was finally over. I see it was not easy for him to ask me such a thing, but at the end of the day we enjoyed the activity so much. He's definitely an anti-conformist now.
The second thing we tried was that he lied on the bed and I sat on top of his face, lightly, and waited to have a fart coming. Sometimes it took even 40 minutes for a fart to come out, but this is normal, I don't think it's possible to fart every minute. He said my farts were very smelly and that he loved them, but the thing that made me really happy is that he said he loved me more than anything else. I felt the butterflies. He said he wanted to be my boyfriend. I almost cried. I thought about Ökaan. How would he feel? I told Čţük I had to think about it, and that it doesn't necessarily mean "no". Anyway I told him we could have a special kind of relationship where I could fart in his face even everyday if he wanted to. I hope that makes him happy enough. My life is getting better everyday, that's for sure. But what about Ökaan? Do I prefer Čţük or Ökaan? Uh, what a question, I love both equally! Loving just one person is what the Leftovian government wanted us to do and think, but I guess it's possible to romantically love more than one person.
Talking about the farting on face thing, he then asked me to "dutch oven" him. I had no idea what that meant, so I asked for an explanation and he told me it means I fart under the blanket while he's under there. I accepted, it looked like a funny thing to do, so he went under the blanket and we waited for like half an hour, then I had one coming. I farted and I could smell it from above the blanket - it was deadly! But still, he enjoyed it a lot. I was happy, he was happy. I wasn't even worrying about the people living on the surface anymore. Yeah, I don't have to worry over things I have no control over, there will always be someone who lives a bad life somewhere. I have to be much more selfish: the important thing is that I and the people around me are happy, I won't give a thought for the other people. The only people who matter to me for now are me, Čţük and Ökaan. I'm indifferent to what everyone else is going through.
Okay, so, we've spent several hours playing the farting in face game, from about noon to evening. He smelled about ten of my farts, each one - as he said - very smelly. He said he never did a thing like this before, but that was a fantasy since he was a teenager. We chatted a lot while waiting for my farts to load. He said multiple times that my farts smelled really good, and I smiled. I'm happy I can please him so easily. I'm even happier that I made his dream come true. He said he was worried that my farts wouldn't smell, but I reasurred him from the beginning that my farts are usually pretty stinky. That is true, when I fart in a car I can stink it up sometimes. A bit more than sometimes. I miss cars. At the end of the day I told him we can do this everyday and he said he would be really happy to do that. I suppose that was a "yes", even though up there in Leftovia it would have meant "no". Language was so ambiguous and confusing up there, we often couldn't understand each other.
I think I have understood why people are the way they are. There might some entity that decides the opinions of a society. Some countries have 99% of their people who condemn homosexuality, and some other countries just 11%. There must be some metaphysical reason for these differences, and we must give it a name. An entity who decides what people think. I guess nobody thought about this before. Our opinions being controlled by this entity, it sounds pretty scary. What is this, a sort of demiurge? Yeah, a demiurge, but not a normal one. This is a special kind of demiurge, that controls the thoughts and opinions of groups of people with the power of mathematics. Some groups of people have certain opinions, and some have others. This changes with space and time, too! It's crazy. We can't do anything to change these opinions, either, it's the demiurge who decides everything. We can hope that the demiurge will make people kinder and friendlier in the future. Ah, yeah, now I know, it's the demographics demiurge I'm talking about.