Reality (Short Fictional Story)

Description: this is a parody of a fart fetish story and is meant for both fun and thinking.

(This anime was awesome!), thought Eliza, a 22 years old blonde girl from Evupka, a city in the country of Mindovia.

(I want to try copy the behaviour of the protagonist, because, you know, I'm an immature childlish kid who hasn't grown up yet), she thought.

His brother, Ikang, is 26 years old and has black short hair and lives in a different house from Eliza, who still lives with her parents because she can't find a job.

"Mom, I have a super-power!", said Eliza, giggling.

Her mom rolled her eyes up, wondering what kind of thing she will come up with.

PFFFRRRTTT

"Eliza...", said her mom, thinking she would not be surprised anymore by her.

"Hah! Now I will stink up this house!", said Eliza.

PST

"It stinks so much, please, let me go...", said her mom, sarcastically and unimpressed.

"Come on mom, it's not funny like this! Oh perhaps I have to eat beans to make them super stinky, please make beans for lunch!", said Eliza, begging her mom.

"Okay, listen, beans will make you fart more often but they won't turn you into a skunk or something, your farts will not be stinky", said her mom, serious.

Eliza was sad because of this: she wanted her farts to smell deadly just like the protagonist of the anime she saw. She wanted to use her farts as weapons. She actually thought she could do it.

Eliza started crying and asked her mom what she (Eliza) could eat to make her farts super rancid.

"You can't, Eliza, I'm sorry", said her mom, worried about Eliza's cries.

"But people on the Internet said they managed to do it...", said Eliza, sobbing.

"People on the Internet can write whatever they want, you know...", explained Eliza's mom.

"So... they're all lies?", asked Eliza.

"They are", she said.

"I understand, I just need some time to feel better and understand reality is so disappointing...", said Eliza.

"You know, even Ikang felt that way when he learned he couldn't throw fireballs from his hands like Izumi from Dragon Killer, but he was 6. You're a bit old for imitating cartoon characters, aren't you?"

"But mom... it's so obvious you can't throw fireballs from your hands, but I can fart and sometimes they smell a little bit, I just need the smell to smell super rancid!", said Eliza, keeping her hopes up.

"You can't, Eliza, I'm sorry", said her mom.

Eliza was almost crying again but she thought she could have that super-power so for lunch she asked her mom to cook beans, eggs, cabbage, onions all covered with vinegar to make her farts smell more sour.

"Nothing will happen, but if you insist...", said her mom, cooking what Eliza requested.

Eliza ate the lunch and waited for the farts to come.

"Let's see if you were right, mom, eheheh~", said Eliza, giggling.

Eliza was feeling so happy because she thought her farts were going to smell really bad, and finally she can have that super-power she's been wishing for a really long time. She thought she was going to be invincible, she thought all her problems were somehow going away.

(Nobody can bring me down now!), she thought.

"Oh, wait, I have one coming right now! Hold your nose, it's gonna smell super bad~", said Eliza, happy.

PSSSFFFTTT

Eliza sniffed her own fart but it had no smell, so she started crying.

"Why?", she asked, in tears.

"Listen, dear Eliza, you can't use your farts as chemical weapons. It's impossible, period", she said.

"Nothing is impossible if you really want it, and I really want it!", said Eliza, serious and determined to be succeed.

Eliza's mom rolled her eyes.

(This isn't good), she (Eliza's mom) thought.

Eliza wanted to text someone, but her only friend was busy with work.

Igic: we can chat at 6 P.M. when I'll finish working

Eliza: okay

Eliza was getting bored so she played some videogames and wondered if she could become physically strong as the characters of the game.

"Mom, we have to talk", said Eliza.

"Tell me anything", she said.

"People can get physically very strong and can hit other people. It's true. Why can't the same thing happen with farts?", asked Eliza.

"Those who are strong, are so because they trained themselves very hard. I can't possibly imagine the same thing could be done with farts... I mean, how would you train yourself to make your gas smellier?", asked her mom.

"I don't know, but there has to be a way!!!", said Eliza, not wanting someone contradicting her.

"There isn't", she said, bluntly.

Eliza didn't cry this time. She wanted to prove her mom everyone can succeed in doing what they want, we just need determination. Everyone says that "Nothing is impossible" and Eliza knew that sentence was false: for example, it's impossible that the temperature goes below -273.15 degrees Celsius. Other things, such as throwing fireballs from your hands, are practically impossible but Mindovian philosophy allows a degree of possibility since it doesn't violate the laws of physics. Still, Eliza thought she could make very stinky farts, she thought she just had to train herself.

Someone knocked at the door.

Eliza opened the door and smiled.

"Hello bro!", she said, hugging him tightly.

"Glad to see ya sis, hi mom!", said Ikang.

"Bro, I have something to show you!", said Eliza.

"Okay sis", said Ikang, smiling.

PFFFSSSFFFRRRTTT

Eliza let out a long and loud fart that smelt like nothing.

"You're hilarious sis!", said Ikang, bursting into laughter.

"Hey bro, do you know how to make my farts smell super bad?", asked Eliza, excited and hoping her dear brother had an answer.

"Have you tried eating beans?", asked Ikang, scratching his head.

"Yes, but it doesn't work", said Eliza, shrugging.

"Perhaps you should try out which food makes you gassy", said Ikang, smiling.

"I've already eaten every kind of food, but never once I ever had a noxious smelling fart", she said, sad.

"I'm sorry, then", said Ikang, laughing.

"Don't laugh, I'm serious. I want my farts to smell as bad as possible!", she said, determined.

"Sis, listen to me, when I was, like, 6, I learned I couldn't throw fireballs from my hands. It hurt at the beginning but eventually I got over it, it will be painful to accept it at first but then you'll feel it's okay hopefully", said Ikang.

"If you say it, bro, I believe you. I give up", she said, with a sad face.

She didn't want to watch that anime anymore, her feelings are now hurt and she's having a hard time accepting it. She breathed deeply and wanted comfort, so she asked her brother to give her a back rub, to which he agreed.

"It will be better, just wait", said Ikang, trying to comfort her.

"Bro, why is reality so boring? I can't have fun in real life. I can't fly, I can't shoot lasers from my eyes, I don't have super-speed, I can't shoot webs from my fingers, I can't knock anyone out with my fists and kicks, I can't walk in mid-air, I can't teleport... I don't care about those things anymore, but I thought having super stinky farts was totally possible. That's why I'm feeling so upset", explained Eliza.

"When I was a kid I thought that I could train myself to have super-powers, but soon I realised it wasn't possible. Please sis, you are a very smart girl, put other goals in your life, like, for example: write a novel, draw some paintings, create a work of art, invent something useful, be a famous scientist... those are all possible goals. Having inhumanly intense smelling farts isn't possible so you have to find something else to reach. You can write a novel about anything you want and you'll perhaps become famous!", said Ikang.

"But it's not that exciting", said Eliza, with a tear falling from her eyes.

Ikang hugged her and said:"Don't worry sister, it's okay" and smiled.

"Thank you, I'm feeling better now", she said, lightly smiling and sighing in relief.

The hug lasted 2 minutes and Eliza felt better so she let go.

"Thank you", she said, rubbing her brother's back.

"So, what is your goal in life now?", asked Ikang.

"Binge watching TV, of course", she said, smiling.

Ikang laughed a bit. "I'm glad you're feeling better now", he said.

"I am", she said, smiling.

PFFFRRRTTT

She farted near Ikang, with a tiny amount of smell.

"And even though it doesn't smell atrocious like I wanted it to be, I still like farting, it's funny! But anyway, I'd really like to make my own cartoon, in anime-style, of course", she said, happily.

She now understands fiction is fiction and that reality is much different than it, but still...

"That doesn't mean you can't have fun, you can have fun in a healthy way", she said, fully understanding the situation.

"That's right", said Ikang, playing with his sister's hair for a couple of seconds.

"Wanna play some videogames?", asked Eliza.

"Count me in!", he said, taking a controller.

They started playing videogames and were having fun together. Ikang was right, the thought she couldn't make her farts as stinky as she wanted still hurt her feelings a little bit, but she now understands complaining is useless and she decided that eventually she'll become an artist for her own cartoon.

"Mom, bro, I've learned a lesson: don't think that nothing is impossible, don't put yourself to reach impossible goals, or even goals you know you'll never achieve. Don't waste your only life. People will tell me otherwise but those motivational speech are useless. Perhaps in the future they'll make a special food that will make your farts smell rancid but as of now, trying is useless. I could make that food were I a scientist but I'm not. What I mean is: I know humanity has made it so far but we need centuries to achieve our goals", she said.

"I think you're stretching it too far, sis. Don't give up, but also don't expect to be successful, one in billions are successful, so try, don't give up, but don't except to necessarily meet your goals, especially if you put yourself to reach an almost impossible goal. If you don't manage to do it, don't worry, someone will do in a few centuries, and humanity will slowly get better and happier", said Ikang.

"Will we ever conquer death?", asked Eliza.

"Maybe, sister, maybe", said Ikang, smiling.