"Oh my... your room is so stinky! You surely can't invite your friends there!"...
...
"Is there a toxic gas leak? EVACUATE THE CLASSROOM!"
...
"What do you eat to do that?"
...
"You're not human! How can anyone produce such an incredible stench?"
...
(And many others).
Nobody wants me... I'm not like the other girls, I don't even know if I'm human.
...
"Please don't fart, we're in a tiny room, we'd die"
...
I'm so embarassed. My problem is ruining my life.
...
.
SOMEDAY
"I've got big news for you! A guy said he wants a girl to fart in his face! Do you want to please him? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"
She's trying to humiliate me.
---Please, give me his number---
"WHOA! YOU LIKE IT?!!! HAHAHA!!!"
---Please, give me his number---
"You're both so weird but, okay, haha..."
--------------------CONVERSATION-------------------
ME: Hello.
HIM: You're not joking, right?
ME: Do you want me to fart in your face?
HIM: YEEEH I'd love it! Really? You're not joking?
ME: I'm not joking, I will do that.
HIM: THANKS!
ME: I have to warn you, though. My farts are known for their smell. I can easily make someone cry and puke with them. Nobody has ever been able to stand them. The smell is so bad, I can make your room impossible to enter for a month, even if you open the windows.
HIM: what will happen if you fart on my nose?
ME: Wanna try? LOL
HIM: Of course, but what do you think will happen?
ME: You're going to regret it. You'll feel your nostrils hair rotting, you'll cry, throw up, and you're going to feel your lungs intensely burning.
HIM: Great! And please, don't let me escape!
ME: You'd die, trust me. Better not going to do that.
HIM: Pleaaase.
ME: Okay, but don't stay I haven't warned you!
HIM: Thanks!
ME: Please share your location.
HIM: [shares]
ME: I'm coming soon. See you later.
I'm at his house.
"My son is in his bedroom", said his mom.
"Thanks", I replied.
I knocked at his door.
"Great!", he said, excited.
"How can I not let you escape?", I asked.
"I've prepared the ropes! Please tie me well!", he said.
"Are you sure? This is gonna stink a lot!", I warned.
"Do it! And don't let me escape, not even if I ask you!", he said.
"Okay", I said.
I tied him tight.
"Try to escape", I said, to ensure he was tied well.
"I can't! GREAT!", he said.
I took down my pants and farted on his nose.
He was shocked by the smell. He coughed and screamed, and moved so hard trying to escape.
I untied him and let him go. He ran away so fast.
His room is now inaccesible, and will be so for at least a month.
He lied down on the grass of his garden, whimpering like a dog who has been sprayed by a skunk.
"I'm sorry", I said.
His eyes were very wet, and he couldn't speak.
"Now I know for sure, nobody wants me..."