June 6, 2016.
New message arrived.
Kaori: "Hello, how are you? ^^"
...
Jamil: "Hi, I'm fine, you?"
Kaori: "What are you doing?"
Jamil: "I'm listening to music"
Kaori: "Cool, what kind of music are you listening to?"
Jamil: "Myrath"
Kaori: "Great! Would you like to come to my house today at 4:00 P.M.? I'd be pleased"
Jamil: "It's okay!"
...
I really like Kaori. She's the kind of girl that's really good with computers and videogames, she seems shy at the beginning, but in reality she's really friendly and talkative, and never rude or evil. She likes hugging me. She just bought a new RPG game, so we're going to play it together. She's so cute. She's got black, long and straight hair, and a quite high pitched voice, though not exaggerated. She's a lot better than all those girls who only think about having sex with a boy just for a night after getting drunk. She's a really interesting girl, and we usually talk about computers and technology, which is the thing she's interested in. She's 18 years old, like me. I'll have a lot of fun, as usual, and I really should get the opportunity to go to her house, when I still can.
...
Jamil: "What will you eat today for lunch? ^_^"
Kaori: "I will eat a sandwich with beans, lattuce, tomato and french fries =Q"
Jamil: "Beans! LOL! They make me... prrr... don't you? Ajaj"
Kaori: "Yes, that's why I'm not putting many of them! Imao"
Jamil: "Don't worry, I'm not going to complain. It's just a sound like the others, after all! ^_^"
(Yes, I'm doing this on purpose, I want to provoke her to say her farts stink. I know she won't fall to my trap, though, as she's too smart)
Kaori: "It's not just a sound LOL there's also a smell"
Jamil: "Farts have an almost unnoticeable smell U_U"
(It seems I'm doing this calmly, just because I'm pretending this. My heart is beating very fast, probably at a rate of about 130 bpm (beats per minute). We've never touched these topics. I'm breathing hard, I'm so excited. I think I may even get a fever after this. I'm feeling so excited, but when this feeling is so strong, it feels similar to a fever. And I'm going to visit her in a few hours! I've also lost my appetite, I'm not going to eat, I won't be able to. I hope this chat will be like I'd want)
♫ COSMIC RADIATION, WAVES OF GRAVITATION ♫
(Oh, there's a new message!)
Kaori: "You say so, just because you've never smelt mine ;P"
Jamil: "Why? Are your farts smelly?"
Kaori: "It depends on what I eat. If I eat beans, cauliflower, eggs or something like that; you won't last long in my room V_V"
Jamil: "I think I will! You're underestimating me D:"
(Yes, please. Say that I'll not last in your room!!!)
Kaori: "I'm not underestimating you, it's simply that it's impossible to stay in a room so rancid that you won't be able to breathe. I think it's worse than what you're imagining, actually."
(I'm going to tempt her even more, ejejej)
Jamil: "You can test me, if you want Z:"
Kaori: "I don't think you want to LOL"
Jamil: "Let's do this! It's weird, I know, but aren't we? I like doing random things U:"
Kaori: "Alright! How much beans do you want me to eat? The more beans I eat, the smellier will my farts be (:"
Jamil: "Do them as stinky as you can! I want to be tested with the most putrid farts you can produce *-*"
Kaori: "I don't recommend you so! Even a relatively inoffensive fart by my standards could be fully unbearable to you. With the worst farts I can make, I can easily make you convulse on the floor with a small whiff. My room will be off limits to you for about 2 hours and a half! F:"
Jamil: "Seems right! Please, do that!"
Kaori: "Are you sure?"
Jamil: "Yes! I think I'm stronger than most people!"
Kaori: "See you this afternoon! C:"
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I DID IT! Now Kaori sent me these really exciting messages! Such a strong feeling, to hear these things forward to you!
[...]
♫ Now I'm walking through this lonely road
Knowing very well where it's going to load
To Kaori's house, filled with air
Everything's clear and fair
She said I wouldn't last at all
She'll see my rise, her fall
I'm stronger than the others
Even stronger than their fathers ♫
[...]
<<Hello, Jamil!>>, said Kaori, hugging me tight for 20 seconds.
<<Your heart, it's beating really fast!>>, she said.
I blushed.
I'm swallowing my saliva. I'm about to cry. I don't know if I'll be able to talk to her.
<<I ate three sandwhiches full of beans. Do you want to be tested?>>, she whispered.
I took a deep breath, and was finally able to talk.
<<I... I... I... yes!!!>>
<<Let's go to my room!>>
...
<<What's wrong? You look strange, Jamil>>
<<I'm fine!>>, I said. I was fine. I was feeling too well. Can one feel too well?
<<Before you came here, I always farted in the toilet. I have opened the windows, but it's wise for other people here to wait at least 3 hours before entering!>>, she said, giggling.
I took a wave of bravery, and said:<<I haven't smelt your farts, yet. I think you lied earlier!>>.
<<Is this a lie?>>, she said, farting a silent but audible fart.
Soon, even without breathing, my eyes started watering and my nostrils were burning.
I breathed for about 0.3 seconds, but it immediately hit me. I was convulsing on the floor.
Convulsing on the floor? YES! SHE WARNED ME ABOUT THAT!
I'd rather die right now. My eyes and nose are burning, and I don't dare to breathe at all. It's more painful than when you slam your head against a wall. It's pure hell.
It's the most sour and saprogenic thing I've ever smelled. Only microorganisms can survive this extreme conditions.
I'm holding my breath, but my nose is still melting. I can't open my eyes, for they are filled with tears. I have to breath, but I know it's better not to. Breathing is forbidden, when the air is so spoiled.
Goodbye, everyone, I have to breathe. I know, I'm going to die.
(*Inhale*)
[...]
Where am I? I can't see anything. I'm so tired. I don't understand what's going on. There's a light, a light of hope. I'm hearing an angelic voice from somewhere so distant.
It sounds so familiar. A new dimension's beginning, and it feels so warm and cozy.
Everything I did in my short life will surely be repayed. All the people I've met who died. Finally, I'm going to meet them. We'll stay together forever. Kaori, I'm really sorry. I hope you'll forgive me.
[...]
<<You're awake! Finally!>>, said Kaori, smiling. I was supposed to be dead, but somehow, I'm still sitting here.
<<What happens?>>, I said, as I noticed having an aerosol mask in my face.
<<You passed out earlier, so I'm making you breathe oxygen to make you recover faster>>, explained Kaori.
<<Thank you, Kaori. What time is it?>>
<<It's 5:00 P.M.>>
<<A hour passed, so. Let's go to your room!>>
<<We can't. Remember what I said? That room is off limits to you for two hours and half. It's still too early to enter there>>
<<I won't stay for long there, if I smell something too strong, I'll quickly withdraw, I promise!>>
<<Fine>>
I took off my mask, and I immediately noticed the difference in oxygen's partial pressure. 100 kPa vs 21 kPa. I ignored it and stood in front of Kaori's room door.
I opened it, and a draft of gas so rancid that could be used as a biological weapon came to my face. I quickly closed the door.
<<Can anyone endure this fart?>>, I asked.
<<Nobody. It's much more rotten than anything an average person has ever smelt. BUT, MAYBE, if someone were to be trained, he could endure this! But it would take years, I guess>>.
I've got an idea. There's a friend of mine, whose name is Ujarak, who is depressed and wants to die. Maybe this can be his opportunity.
<<Can a friend of mine come here?>>, I asked.
<<Sure?>>, she replied.
<<Eat another bean sandwich, please>>, I requested.
<<Why?>>, she said.
<<I want your farts to be as stinky as possible. The stinkiest you've ever done>>
<<Well, then, I'll fill the sandwich with beans, broccoli and eggs! My farts'll be LETHAL!>>, she said, giggling. She didn't know my plan, I wanted her farts to be literally lethal.
[...]
<<Hi.>>, said Ujarak, coldly.
<<Hi friend!>>, said Kaori, hugging him.
<<Let's go to this small room! This was Kaori's room when she was a baby. Now she sleeps in a much bigger room!>>, I said.
<<Could you fart, please?>>, I asked.
<<It would be far too toxic to any person in the world. This room will be off limits for 24 hours if I fart here!>>, she said.
<<I'm the person who endures smells most in this town...>>, said Ujarak, saying the excuse I invented for him.
<<Okay!>>, said Kaori.
<<Lock me in. You'll be surprised!>>, said Ujarak.
<<Okay!>>, said Kaori, giggling, knowing that Ujarak will soon beg her to let him out.
Kaori farted and immediately locked Ujarak inside that room.
The smell soon spread out in the hallway, so we ran away, outside her house.
<<Don't worry, my house will be off limits for only 15 minutes!>>, Kaori said, smiling.
The other people in her house left the house, gasping for air.
<<I'll suggest you returning to my house in not less than half a hour!>>, said Kaori, giggling cutely.
Ujarak lied on the floor. He wasn't moving.
<<Return to my house tomorrow at 6:00 P.M. please! We'll have to get rid of your friend's body!>>, she said.
<<Count on me!>>, I replied.
[...]
The next morning, Ujarak woke up. The room was still off limits for others. He coughed and saw that there were some pop corn left in the room. The date of expiration was due to 2017. He thought he'd die, but for some reason, he didn't. He couldn't do deep breaths, as the air around him was extremely pungent. He made extremely short breaths at a time, so he keeps surviving.
[...]
June 7, 2016. 6:30 P.M.
<<I'm sorry for Ujarak, but he didn't like life that much, anyway>>, I said.
<<He wanted that!>>, said Kaori.
We opened the door, and the smell was mephitic. It wasn't off limits anymore, though, so, even though it was so fetid it was very unpleasant to stay there, we wouldn't pass out or be intoxicated.
We were shocked to find Ujarak was still alive. He ran away from the room and took very deep breaths of relief. He could finally smell fresh air again, and that made him happy.
<<I think I don't want to die anymore. I'm still depressed, but I think there's a hope of light in this life. I'll be someone in my life. I'm moving away from my family, and will live near you. We'll play lots together! Thank you!>>, said Ujarak.
We all hugged each other, and a new life began.