In the afternoon, I received a message from a good friend of mine, Joe.
"Sarah, please come at my house this evening. I'm feeling kinda lonely" - the message said.
"Sure, Joe! I'll be at your house this evening! We'll have fun >w< :3" - I replied.
--- In the Evening ---
I walked to his house since we don't live far from each other. I knocked at his door and he opened the door, looking at me with a weak yet hopeful smile. I smiled back at him and entered in the living room of his house.
"I don't have many people to talk with", he said, looking ashamed about admitting it. He looked a bit sad as well.
"Don't worry! I'm here! I'm your friend!", I said, smiling to him, "Do you want a hug?", I asked, smiling warmly.
I'm very concerned about him. It seems like he's been going through a lot of negative thoughts in the last few years, and I can see those thoughts are very stressful for him. I always want to make him feel relaxed and have fun, but I feel like I can't help him. He doesn't seem to get better. I really miss when he used to smile a lot and we could have fun. Now every conversation we have always seems to be about his loneliness and sadness. I can see he's going through stressful times in his life, but I don't know what I should do. I'll try again. Maybe I should try to make him focus on fun things and distract him from his sad feelings? I don't know. I'll try to make him feel better as much as I can!
"Please... don't think about those things. Please, Joe. Let's just have fun and be happy together! Okay?", I said, smiling warmly.
"I'll try. I just don't feel happy. I feel sad and lonely...", he says, with an unhappy face.
"Don't feel lonely, I'm here! But... everytime you stay with me it always ends up with me comforting you, hugging you, and telling you sweet things all the time! I'm sorry, Joe, I don't want to make you feel bad about this, but... I would like if our friendship was more... normal. I understand you feel unhappy, but we can do other things than hugging each other and me comforting you and telling you nice, sweet things about you all the time! We can do... normal things, you know? Would that be okay for you?", I ask him, smiling warmly.
"What do you mean 'normal things'?", he asks me.
"Wanna play some videogames together?", I suggest, smiling warmly.
"I like Procedural Adventure 2! It's one of my favourite games ever!", he tells me, and I can see he's starting to smile a bit, albeit very weakly.
"But that has no offline multiplayer! What would you think if we played a fighting game, like... Nekketto 3? Remember that? We used to play that when we were kids! Do you want to play it again?", I ask him, and he's starting to smile a bit more intensely now. But I see he still doesn't feel well!
"Yes, thank you so much! You're a very sweet friend! I'm sure I'll feel happy again as soon as I'll play Nekketto 3 again like we did when we were kids! I used to feel very happy as a kid! Let's play it again!", he says. I can see he's becoming happier.
"Sure buddy~we will play it on this retro-gaming emulating console that has 50K games in it! It's not exactly like playing on original console, but essentially it's the same! I mean, this is the game we used to play! Who cares about the hardware, haha!", I said, giggling, turning this retro-console on and selecting the game Nekketto 3.
I thought things were going well, until the opening of this videogame started.
"I used to feel so happy when I was a child! I remember me and you used to play this videogame a lot when we were kids! Now things have changed a lot compared to those days! I don't feel as happy anymore now. Those days are gone...", he started saying, and he looked like he was about to cry again. Not gonna lie, he cries quite often. I'm not sure what I should do now. Since me hugging him when he's about to cry has long become a habit for several years now, and it's basically an expectation now, and I smile at him and hug him. But this time, I'm gonna tell him something slightly different, otherwise this situation is never gonna end.
"I'm here for you, Joe... you know that, I always tell you. But... I think you obsess over the thought that you are lonely and that you always need comfort. Please stop thinking about those things... just focus on this moment... it's not important to obsess over it. Trust me, it's not important. Just think about having fun and be happy. Please, Joe, I love you. I don't want to see you suffering like this... I'm here with you", I told him, and I was about to cry as well, considering the situation both me and him were going through. I stopped the hug and I wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my shirt.
"Okay... I'm sorry, Sarah. Maybe I really went too far. You're right, I shouldn't think about those things. But how? Now I got used to thinking about those things all day. It has become a habit", he told me.
"Maybe it will be difficult at first. But I'm positive you can do this!", I told him, smiling warmly, while my face was still a bit red from the tears.
He smiled at me and I hugged him again, smiling back.
"You're happy now?", I asked him.
"Yeah, I guess", he told me, sighing a bit.
"Let's play Nekketto 3 now! And please don't think about those things! Or about your past. Or about how we played this game when we were kids. Or about how different your life is now compared to back then. Or stuff like that", I said, smiling warmly.
"You know what you said doesn't help, right? It's like if I told you not to think about penguins! You WILL think about penguins!", he said, giggling a bit.
Wow. It's actually one of the rare times in the last few years he's actually laughing for something as innocent as this. Is this just an isolated thing or is he becoming better now? I wonder.
"Yeah you're actually right!", I said, giggling a bit as well. I feel a bit dumb now, but it's alright. He's right about it.
"Let's play versus battle! I'm gonna use Nozomi! What about you?", I asked, smiling at him.
"I will use Dr. Ulyanovitch! He's so weird! Eh...", he said, with a smile that was kinda obvious that he was forcing it.
"That's alright!", I said, looking at him in the eyes and smiling.
He's really good at using Dr. Ulyanovitch, which is a weird but powerful character as well. We kept playing Nekketto 3 for about two hours. I looked at his face and he seemed more relaxed than before.
"Do you feel better now?", I asked him.
"A bit...", he said, smiling weakly.
"Do you want a hug?", I asked him, smiling gently at him.
"Yes please!", he said, smiling a little bit more. I hugged him and it was very relaxing.
"Do you want to keep playing Nekketto now? Or another game?", I asked him.
"I don't know... we used to play it when we were children. Now it feels different than back then. I was happy back then. Now I feel like nothing can make me as happy as I was back then!", he said.
I started feeling a bit hopeless and sad as well. What can I do to make him happy again?
"What do you want to do?", I asked him, smiling.
"I don't know. I feel like life itself has become boring and meaningless", he said, with a weak smile, looking at the floor of the bedroom.
"I know you're going through a difficult time. I was trying my best to make you happy. All these years. But... maybe I'm doing the right thing to keep you company? What do you think?", I asked him.
"I appreciate that you're doing this for me!", he told me, with a gentle smile, "but I have some kind of melancholy that is hard to explain. I feel like life has no meaning at all! I lost interest in everything", he said, looking like he was feeling a bit defeated.
"I'm here for you, Joe! Do you want another hug?", I asked him, smiling warmly. He told me yes and I hugged him again.
We stayed silent for a short time, but suddenly he told me something that made me feel better:
"It's hard to explain, but... there is something about you that is comforting. I'm not feeling happy, but... comforted. It feels nice. It's like... I feel sad, but your presence around me slowly heals me from my pain".
I blushed a little bit and was almost crying.
"Really? You feel better when I'm with you?", I said, happy.
"I wouldn't say 'better'. It's just... comforting. But it's nice, yes", he said, with a smile that was more sincere than before.
I hugged him again. We spent plenty of time together that evening. Until he said he was feeling sleepy even though it was not very late. I hugged him, told him "good night" and went back to my house, hoping to see him again tomorrow and plenty of days again. "Thank you", he told me.
--- 6 months later ---
Joe is starting to feel a lot better in the last few weeks (or at least, that's what he's telling me with his words and eyes). I'm glad! I wonder if it's because of me or if it's just a coincidence!
"It's difficult, but I have started to be more aware of my own feelings and emotions", he told me, "It's very challenging, though. It's tough because I'm doing this alone. Nobody is helping me. The ones that tell you that they will help you, in reality they just give you a pill that is supposed to make you feel better, but it doesn't. I tried and it didn't work. That means I have to get better by myself. It's not easy. I've been reading a lot of stuff about philosophy, psychology, mindfulness and meditation. I've been doing this for about three months now. At the beginning it wasn't working but now I feel a bit better. I'm not sure if this is gonna work eventually, however. I'm walking a path that is completely unknown to me, so I don't know how this is gonna end. I feel like the society we live in is partly to blame for this melancholy epidemic. I'm not sure. But I'm trying to stay strong so I can overcome this feeling!", he said, with a tough and determined look on his face.
"I'm so proud of you!", I told him, hugging him and smiling. He smiled, too, and thanked me for the hug.
"Let's go play Nekketto 3!", he said, with a proud smile, "Life is meaningless, and that means thinking that 'life is meaningless'... is also meaningless!", he said, looking proud of himself and smiling with determination.
We went to his bedroom and started playing Nekketto 3. I played as Nozomi and he played as Dr. Ulyanovitch.
"Yeah. Life is meaningless. Happiness and positivity are meaningless. But so are sadness and negativity. So eventually I have realized it's mostly my choice on which thoughts and feelings to focus on! I won't give up!", he said, with a proud and determined look on his face.
While we were playing Nekketto, he told me something.
"Hey! Can I tell you something a little bit embarrassing?", he asked me, looking embarrassed by what he was about to tell me.
"Sure! Go ahead!", I told him, with a warm and cheerful smile.
"I started feeling constantly sad, lonely and hopeless around three years ago. Remember what our friendship was mostly about before that? I mean... after my soul was overwhelmed by those painful emotions, our friendship had become mostly about you comforting me from those feelings. But before that... I mean... you used to fart around me and even in my face quite often. It's embarrassing to talk with you about this because it's been literally three years. But... since now I'm doing my best to try to feel better, I'm starting to appreciate things in life like I used to back then. I don't mean to sound like a pervert or to use this as an excuse... but I would genuinely love you farting around me and even on my face again, like you used to do before those bad feelings started tormenting me!", he told me with a smile.
I'm feeling so happy that he's starting to be like his old self again! I smiled happily.
"Of course I will! When I have a fart, I'll fart around you! Or do you prefer if I fart on your face?", I asked him with a playful smirk.
"On my face, of course!", he said, smirking back at me playfully.
We kept playing Nekketto until I had a fart coming.
"I have a fart coming! Put your nose on my butt quickly!", I urged him.
Which he quickly did.
***pppfffbbbrrrtt***
He coughed a bit because my fart was quite stinky, to be honest. I giggled a bit at his reaction to the nasty smell of my fart.
"Wow! I didn't remember your farts were so stinky!", he said, with a playful disgusted face.
"It's been three years!", I said, laughing genuinely and happily.
"Come on, Joe! Lie down on the bed! I'll sit on your face~", I told him, teasing him playfully.
He lied on the bed and I sat on his face, placing my butthole right on his nose.
"You know what, Sarah? I'm feeling happy that we're doing this again! I feel like the happiness I used to feel when we were younger is coming back!", he said, with a warm tone. It's the first time I'm hearing him sounding so happy in years!!! I'm glad.
"You're happy, sure! But perhaps your nose won't be!", I said, and we both giggled.
***pppfffbbbrrrppptttppp***
It felt so good letting out a warm, stinky fart right on his nose, like we used to do in the old times. He started groaning, coughing and gagging a bit.
"Are you still alive down there?", I asked him, teasing him playfully and giggling friendly.
"Your farts are rotten, Sarah! I didn't remember them like this! Eww!!!", he said, now genuinely disgusted while I was giggling at his disgusted reaction.
"Wait, I have another fart for your nose, Joe!", I told him.
***pppbbbfffrrrttt***
He coughed and groaned really loudly at this last fart, which I had to admit it was really stinky since I could smell it from up here.
"That might have made you a bit dizzy~ OOOHHH it stinks!!! Whoa!!!", I exclaimed as the noxious putrid smell of my own fart reached my nostrils. It was indeed very pungent and rotten. It kinda smelt like rotten eggs, broccoli and spoiled milk also. He pushed me away and got up from the bed, coughing and looking like he was about to throw up!
"Are you okay?", I asked him, laughing a lot, but in a friendly way.
"Ewww this room stinks now! We might have to open the windows!", I said, opening the windows of his bedroom.
"Let's go to the living room for at least 30 minutes. It reeks in here!", he said, looking disgusted but having fun at the same time.
I hugged him again before saying goodbye.
"Let's meet each other again tomorrow, okay? I hope you'll keep getting better and don't give up! Smile and be happy, the future is shining bright! I'm proud of you!", I said, hugging him once again and smiling.
"I'll try my best to become strong. Maybe invincible", he said, laughing a bit and smiling proudly with determination. "See you tomorrow, Sarah!", he said.
"See you tomorrow, Joe! Another day of fun and giggles is waiting for us!", I told him, smiling friendly. He smiled back.