Between Heaven and Hell (Emotional Rollercoaster)

"Life is a little boring, the only thing we can do is play videogames, nothing else comes in my mind!", she complained.

"We'll find a thing to do, I'll promise!", he reassured.

"Really? Nice! What if we hug?", she asked.

"What?", he wasn't surpised: they hug often, but they usually don't hug each other randomly like that.

"I thought it would be nice if we spent time hugging together!", she said, smiling happily.

"How much time do you want to spend hugging?", he said.

"I'll stop hugging you when you will not want to be hugged anymore", she said.

"Ok then", he said, smiling even more than she did.

They started hugging, and they were happy, but after like 3 minutes, they were starting to get bored.

"It feels good, but it's not funny... we're just sitting here hugging, not even moving, this is boring...", he said.

She agreed, it wasn't funny or exciting, it just felt good. But then the boredom overcame.

"We have to accept our fate, we'll be bored to death", he said.

"Maybe you are right, shall we listen to some music?", she asked.

4/3πr³ (is this actually the volume of a sphere?)

At Katie's house, her 18 yo friend Hannah was visiting her, because Katie was feeling a bit sad because it was night. Katie is a 19 years old girl.

"I'm tired of the night, it's just depressing, it's been dark all this month, I want to see the yellow sky again, I hate night!", said Katie.

"Don't worry, my friend, the Sun will rise in mid-December, and you'll see the yellow sky again, why are you worried?", replied Hannah.

"Because the darkness is wearing on me", replied Katie.

"Let's do something, we're both super gassy, yes? Let's make a fart contest to cheer you up!", said Hannah.

78% Nitrogen
21% Oxygen
1% Argon

You can breathe. Doesn't it feel so nice to be alive, and see yourself smiling again?

[...]

Where am I? I can't see anything. I'm so tired. I don't understand what's going on. There's a light, a light of hope. I'm hearing an angelic voice from somewhere so distant.
It sounds so familiar. A new dimension's beginning, and it feels so warm and cozy.
Everything I did in my short life will surely be repayed. All the people I've met who died. Finally, I'm going to meet them. We'll stay together forever. Kaori, I'm really sorry. I hope you'll forgive me.

[...]

I've got an idea. There's a friend of mine, whose name is Ujarak, who is depressed and wants to die. Maybe this can be his opportunity.

{Error 404: Happiness Not Found}

[...]

"Hi.", said Ujarak, coldly.
"Hi friend!", said Kaori, hugging him.

?are you?addicted to hugs?

I have nobody who loves me, I always have to work, and I never do anything I like. My cries are filled with panic and desperation, sometimes I just want somebody whom I can relax with. Sometimes I want a hug, cuddling with someone, am I asking too much? Is the world really that lonely? Just a hug, snuggling a bit with someone, having fun, feeling the love. I have nothing of this in my life. I've tried everything written on the Internet, but it just doesn't work. I never feel better. What's wrong with me? What's wrong with everyone else? It just looks like we're all depressed. What am I supposed to do? I always feel like there's no way out. This is unacceptable. Other people don't look so happy as well, they always look they need some de-stressing. Why do I always have to suffer? Why can't I just be happy once for all? Life should be as pleasing as it can get, remember, we only live once.

ÒwÓ

I take the bus, a bus filled with people, depressed people. They talk to each other, but not in a so cheerful way, they seem calm, but it looks like something's wrong with their mood.

ÙwÚ

And this is the morning, except everyday's like this, all day long. Everyone acts cold. Why is the world so bad? The bus keeps going, but people's minds are wrapped within themselves. It seems like anything remotely pleasant is stigmatized by the society. I want to change this, but doing this alone is impossible, and the problem is, I don't have anyone whom I can trust and count.

T__T

"Hi David!", I went in for a hug, and, surprisingly, he accepted.

We went in his car and were driving to the nearest restaurant.
After a few minutes, I had a strange feeling in my stomach.

(Am I really having butterflies in my stomach? Am I really feeling that happy? Is this happiness?), I thought.

Those "butterflies" got stronger as time went by. It was like having a pleasant stomach ache. A weird feeling, but I felt nice. I wanted to feel even better, I wanted some love directed at me.

Soon, I understood what was that feeling. I was gassy. I needed to fart, but that wasn't my intention, since most of the times my farts have a toxic-like smell.

666.66$

I'm trying to do my best not to let one out, but it's not that easy. The butterflies in my stomach are getting stronger. Now I know, I'm not happy at all, not feeling good at all, I was just gassy, all my hopes are dead now, I'll never feel happy in my life.

I wonder how are other people feeling. Since I'm very honest, I just ask them:

"How are you feeling?", I asked.

"Nice, we're going to have fun together at the restaurant, we're going to eat, chat, relax, what's better than this?", a friend of David said.

"Maybe you are right!", I replied.

This was going to be a good moment, I know it. Ok, stop this, I have to fart, but I simply cannot say it. I'll just let one.

PFFFFFFFFF

This one was silent, but very likely, it's going to be deadly.

"What's this smell? Hey, guys, did you fart? Ahah, I'm sorry, Sara, do you know my friends, I'll open the windows!", he said.

So, he didn't get I was the one who farted?

David had a disgusted face. I know he couldn't drive that long with this toxic fog that permeated this car.

"David, I don't want your friends to feel guilty, I farted", I said.

"Really? How can a cute and affectionate girl like you make a fart that smells worse than a rotten pepper? I cannot breathe, ugh...", David said.

"I'm sorry".

David was eyewatering, and everytime he breathed he squirmed and made sounds that sounded like he was puking. I know he couldn't breathe my stinky polluted air that long

"I'm sorry, David, you can stop driving this car, we're not that far", I said.

"I cannot leave my car in the traffic, Sara, but I'm literally dying" - "AAAHHH", he screamed in pain, as soon as he breathed a bit more than normal.

The guy who's sitting near me has his entire head outside the window, trying to breathe some clean air.

"You could use your farts as a biological weapon, like, you can even use to torture criminals, they're that bad!"

¿They're that bad, uh?Just like my depression, uh¿

David and the other friend had tears running down their faces and they were shaking. The windows were open, and David sometimes put his head outside his window to have some relief from the rancid stink. Too bad, I have to fart again.

PFFFFFFFFF

"Did you fart again? No, Sara! Ahh... it feels like this car is melting from the stink. This is brimstone stench! It's hell!", David said.

"I'm sorry, David!", I said, giggling.

"Anyway, Hans, you said that they won't let us build anything we want. Who are they?", I asked.

"I don't know exactly, I think they're the ones who take care of urban planning, let's search on the Internet after we go to the restaurant, maybe we'll find them!", he said.

Finally, we arrived to the restaurant parking, so we were all been able to go outside the car.

David left his windows a bit open, just to allow the air entering, but he didn't want anyone to steal anything, so he didn't open them that much.

David and his friends took extremely deep breaths, they eventually got light-headed and had to sit down and relax a bit.

"Do you need something?", I asked.
"Please, my hand is paralized because of the hyper-ventilation, I'm about to faint, please, massage my arm", he asked.
"Sure!", I said.

I massaged his arm for about 20 minutes. I saw he was feeling good, relaxed.

"Do you like it?", I asked, smiling.

"Yes, thank you, I, I think you're amazing", he said.

"Nice to hear! You're making me happy, you know?", I said.

I still wasn't feeling 100% alright, but it was better than the other days. I see some light at the end. David's hand wasn't paralyzed anymore after about 7 minutes, he could freely move it, but since it felt so pleasing to him, I kept massaging his arm for 13 minutes more.

After I finished, I asked him: "How did that feel?"

"Great! I'm relaxed now!", he replied.

"Do you other guys need it? It would be my pleasure doing that!", I asked, smiling, but they said "later". Good!

We were at the restaurant. I ate beans, eggs and sweet peppers.

"Won't that thing make you, uhm... uhm?", David asked.

"Yes, don't worry, I'm doing this on purpose!", I said, giggling.

while (my.feelings = sad) {
var my.depression = Math.random()*10+90
if (you = hug me warmly) {
my.depression = depression-50
} else if (you = ignore me) {
my.depression = depression
} else if (you = hostile to me) {
my.depression = depression+50
}
}

SYNTAX ERROR: the string "you = hug me warmly" is not valid. For you, at least. Loser.

I invited him over the couch.

"Do you want to play videogames? I have some new cool ones! Do you want to chat? Do you need a hug?", I asked.

"I could use a hug right now!", he said.

We hugged, and he looked so happy. I was beginning to feel happy, but, you know, happiness doesn't last forever...

...

...everybody needs love, if you don't get it, you are 100% right to complain. If you see a person who needs love, give them all the love they need. You can brighten up a person's day. We should me more accepting and affectionate to other people, not insulting and bullying.

Wh0 1s 4l1c3?

Alice is a 25 years old female who works as a software developer. Lately, she's been stressed due to her overworking, and needs some rest. The company gave her two weeks of vacation, but that doesn't necessarily help. She has to find something that relaxes her, else she'll keep being stressed. Eating is one thing that sort of relaxes her, she vents her stress off by eating sometimes. She likes listening to music and writing as well. It's only the first day, and she's not feeling relaxed at all.

"I have to focus on my relaxation", she thought.

She took something to eat in her bedroom and started eating. Yes, she has the habit of eating in her bedroom. Not necessarily a bad thing. She lives with her boyfriend Zack, but at the moment he's working, so he's not at home. She feels really stressed, she doesn't want to think about software developing for these two weeks. She wants to heal herself. She's right now feeling all her muscles tense, and she wants to do something about that. She started eating a Burrito filled with beans, salad and sauce. One little problem is that that kind of food makes her gassy, but that's not a big deal if she's alone. She usually doesn't pass the gas if she's with strangers, because she's a bit shy and her farts are very smelly, she can clear out a room in ten seconds.

@Can she?

"Dear Diary, I'm probably the saddest guy on the planet. Nobody likes me, everyone hates me, and I never get what I want. Could my life be worse than this?"

It's another shitty day here on planet Earth. I don't even have the strength to write that much. I'm depressed. I watch videos on the Internet, but that's it. I have no one to chat with, neither on the Internet, neither on the phone, let alone in real life. Even my parents are always screaming to me and act unlovingly.

What should I do? I can't even cry, I'm just sad. I'm not even in the mood of playing videogames. The Internet is full of hatred, I don't want to be exposed to it, so I don't even bother trying to have a conversation with someone I don't know, because there's a great chance we will fight. It's not like the real life is different, anyway.

I'm not comfortable neither at home, nor at school. I'm never comfortable.

PYTHAGORAS

What am I doing? I'm watching relaxing videos on the Internet, especially personal attention ASMR videos. I feel so loved, but when I think they are not made just for me, I feel even sadder than before.

"Life swings like a pendulum backward and forward, between pain and boredom" (Arthur Schopenhauer)

"Would you like a hug?", she asked, smiling. "Yes, please", I replied, shy.

She hugged me for, like, 30 seconds.

"Thank you", I said.

"I like making people happy. It feels good to know someone is happy because of you. It makes a big difference in the world", she said, smiling.

I now feel really good and relaxed, is that because of the hug, because of her friendliness, or both? I think both.

"I'm really lonely. Nobody in my class talks to me, and when I go home, my parents ignore me, not even them want to talk to me. I spend almost all the time in my bedroom doing nothing and I feel bad", I explained.

"I'm sorry for this. No one deserves to be like this. Don't worry, I will be your friend, and I'll listen to you everytime you need. Let's go to the park together this afternoon, we will chat and be happy", she said, smiling and touching my shoulder.

=== The worst of our faults is our interest in other people's faults (Ali Ibn Abi Talib) ===

"Please, hug me", I said.

She smiled and said:"Sure!", and she hugged me for a long time.

"

Thank you, but I need to be hugged often", I confessed.

"How often?", she asked.

"Like, four times a day?", I said.

"Great! I'll do that!", she said, smiling as always.

"You are the kindest person I've ever met!", I said, on the verge of crying.

"I'm glad to know you like me. I like you too!", she said.

I can't hold it anymore, I'm crying.

She held my hands.

"Don't cry, I'm here", she said, smiling.

"Can... we... see each other every day?", I asked.

"Sure! We'll be friends forever", she said.

I keep crying even harder. This feeling is so intense.

I look at her face. It's a heavenly sight. Everything I wanted is here. I finally found someone who loves me unconditionally for who I am. I found an extremely kind person. I'm glad something like this happened. My vision is blurred due to all the tears I have in my eyes.

Knowing I like to be hugged often, she hugged me again.

"I'm so happy", I said.

"Me too. We'll chat and smile a lot together", she said.

Yes. We'll chat and smile a lot together.

{[Be more humble than a blade of grass, more tolerant than a tree, always offering respect onto others and never expecting any in return (Chaitanya Mahaprabhu)]}

...

Nobody wants me... I'm not like the other girls, I don't even know if I'm human.

...

"Now I know for sure, nobody wants me..."

!!!

She touched my shoulders. I was feeling better, but far from being fine. My dream will never come true, it's so hard to find the right girl, and when you find her, she will think you are crazy, that's the truth. The things I want will only happen within my mind. She is very nice, but she can't help me. But suddenly, I feel good. She's been touching me for a long time now and I feel so peaceful. It doesn't matter if THAT dream doesn't come true, I have plenty of other wishes to fulfill. I feel so lively and ready to do so many things.

/Are you, though? Enough! To handle this.../

Karl and Alice were chatting in the park.

"I need a hug", said Karl. Alice hugged him. "You know, I've been feeling so lonely these months, I don't know what to do anymore", said Karl.

"Don't worry, I'll be here for you"

"Thank you, you're a great friend"

"What do you want to do now?"

"Nothing, just walk and talk, you know, when you're sad you're not in the mood to do anything else"

"I understand your feelings, that's why we're just going to talk"

"Thank you, many people get angry at you when you ask for comfort, or use a wrong voice tone, that's something that annoys me. You, on the other hand, are very good at comforting"

"Thank you so much for your nice words"

"Let's talk about comforting people. What do you usually do?"

"I let them know I'm here for them, I don't judge, and most importantly I listen to whatever they say. We have two ears and one mouth, after all"

"What's something you should never say?"

"I'm not sure, I'm not a psychologist"

"I'm not good at that"

"Not true, everyone can comfort someone if they want"

"I can, but I'm not good"

"You're already good enough"

"I want to talk about my loneliness, what should I do? I can't sleep well at night"

"I will keep you company as long as I can"

Karl asked for a hug and Alice gave him one.

"I want to thank you for what you're doing for me, it feels great!", said Karl.

"You're welcome, my friend! Whenever you feel sad or lonely, text me or stay with me, I hope you'll feel a lot better"

Alice hugged Karl for the third time. It felt so nice having a good friend to share moments with.

{[(Does your happiness depend on other people, though? Is that what you /really/ want*?*)]}

"Hey, sis, I'm feeling lonely", said Mark.
"Don't worry, I'm going to keep you company!", said Irina, Mark's sister.

Mark went under the blankets and his sister sat on a chair.

"Do you want me to caress your head?", asked Irina, smiling.

"Yes, thank you!"

#are-you-like-a-moth-to-the-flame

The morning after, Mark woke up and gave his sister a big hug. He was feeling full of joy and happiness, he didn't feel lonely anymore but he still felt anxious about his life. He finally gave up at the thought that life cannot be perfect, and one will always feel tired and stressed because of school and work. Anyway, he decided to appreciate the small things in life and not to over-worry like he always does.

/nWill these good feelings stay?
/nOr will they disappear like voices in the wind?

We'll all gather together and change our society, bring love and peace and get rid of anxiety.

\(YES)/

we can change! Get ready for a new kind of life, where everyone will be happy and safe,

<lovescript>You deserve love and hugs if you want them!</lovescript>

November 27, 2220

"Hey Cathie, I hope you're feeling good!", I said, smiling. "Of course Max!", she said. "Would you like a hug?", she proposed.
"Yeah!", I said. Me and her hugged for, like, 30 seconds, and then we let go. Life just feels so good. "I wonder how happy you are", I said. "I'm really happy, just like everyone in this world. Why should we be sad?" - "I don't know, I wonder if there is a chance of sadness happening in our world" - "Sadness doesn't exist anymore, ever studied history?" - "Yeah, I remember, wars, famines, violence, and such. I'm glad they don't exist anymore"

%Be careful before chanting your victory song, a new enemy might appear%

She went outside and watched the grey sky. It felt like everything was so relaxing, and it felt like being right at home.

"Yes, this is my haven, my home. I belong to this place, and I'm glad I live in this place. Everything here seems to give me serenity and peace. The people, the restaurants, my school, my house: everything here has given me so many memories I could never leave this place, as the lack of memories would be too hard to tolerate. I will stay here with all my friends, but they're all moving to another city, what should I do? Should I follow them? One thing is sure, if Luke leaves, I'm leaving too. I love him more than anyone else. I love all my friends, but Luke is special"

|And it's nights like these I cry and cry|
|I try to smile but all I want is to die|

"I'll be your girlfriend, Luke. There's nothing better than seeing the pleasure in all our four eyes. Can I kiss you on the lips?".

Katie and Luke kissed and it felt like fireworks. It was the best feeling the two ever had in their whole lives. It's the true feeling of love. A new life awaits them.

[

How I feel

I'm left here alone with my thoughts
Will I ever enjoy the sunshine again?
Why won't you stay with me and talk?
I'm feeling

] But if you ask me, everything is fine [

They'll play a lot together.

≠DOES ETERNITY EXIST≠CAUSE THIS PAIN FEELS LIKE/n

Clara is a girl who is almost completely alone.

W_W

She knew she will never feel right in this horrible reality she didn't want to be born in. Everything was terrible and she felt no hope of feeling positivity, only sadness and desperation.

She was alone and will be alone forever.

√(Death will be her only friend for ∞)

"I'm too sad to function", says George to Rie, his best friend.

"What's wrong?", asked Rie, worried.

"I don't want to talk about that", said George.

"How can I help you if you don't tell me why you are sad?", said Rie.

She was about to cry, she noticed that George was acting strange lately, but she wanted to find out why he was so sad. Recently, she noticed that George wasn't doing the stuff he enjoyed anymore, instead he spent most of his time alone in a dark room with closed windows doing nothing at all.

"How can I make you feel better?", she asked.

"You can't, I don't enjoy anything anymore", he said, sad.

"I know, I know. That's why you need a hug!", she said, opening her arms, smiling.

"Okay", he said, hugging her, but unfortunately he didn't feel any pleasure.

"I'm still not happy. This feeling is killing me", he said, looking at the floor.

屁What is it that will make me feel happy?屁

I wait and should be happy. I'm 28 now and it has been my fantasy for literally half of my life. Half of my life that has been wasted, not having my fantasy fulfilled, but now everything has got to change, because now I can have what I want and I'll finally be happy after waiting so much in frustration and sadness. I will be so happy and my dark energy will finally disappear from my body, leaving me to enjoy the pleasure. It's finally a reality.

&WAKE UP!!!

I wear headphones and listen to some sad music, it helps me know I'm not the only one feeling like this! I feel like there are so many people that would care about me, if only I knew them...

Since I have nothing to do to have fun, I lie down on the couch, waiting to be embraced by a comforting sleep.

I try to think about happy things but I fail miserably: these things will never happen to me. I'm trapped in a sad reality with no possibility to escape. The world is crumbling under me and I'll eventually fall into an abyss of darkness. If only I could meet my angel. No, at the moment of death I'll still be sad. There's no reason to be awake anymore at this point, I close my eyes and wait to fall asleep without further thinking.

"Don't worry, come here", said a comforting voice.

Is my pain over? Have I finally found happiness?

"I'm your friend", said a guy, smiling.

A warm and comforting light comes from that guy. I go towards him and feel a sense of inner peace. I'm finally free. I smile and go in for a hug. As I walk towards him, he keeps getting far from me, so no matter how much I walk or run, I'll never reach him.

Suddenly, a scary demon voice yells at me, and everything turns deep red.

I wake up trying to scream but no sound comes out, my body is paralyzed and I can feel an evil presence in my room. I hear two dogs growling behind the couch. My heart beats fast and I can't swallow.

Hypnagogia has ended.

I can move again, immediately turn the light on and start crying. Being alone is sad and scary. I watch some farting animations and try to calm down. What a scary nightmare! I drink some orange juice and again, try to calm myself down.

~Don't worry, buddy, it's okay. Don't listen to these voices inside your head~

"Don't you ever feel lonely?", I ask a coworker during my pause.

"I don't know what you talk arō (I don't know what you're talking about)", he said, in a thick local accent, before leaving me alone.

666Forgotten by Satan and by everyone else666

Why can't people be friends with each other? Why can't we ask for help? Why can't we show our feelings? Maybe I'm the only one who has feelings here, or maybe everyone else is hiding them. I don't know. I should think about the good things.

At least in this reality people don't whip others just because they have a different opinion about morality. Šäft (it's okay).

At least in this reality people don't kill others just because they don't agree about who created the world and the rules she gave us. Šäft.

At least in this reality people don't make non-violent people intentionally suffer under the false premise of working for "justice". Šäft.

That would be a horrible reality. It's a good thing other realities don't exist, and this one isn't as bad as what I can create with my imagination.

Šäft.

Why am I not feeling better then? The reality I imagined can't possibly exist, for it's too extreme. I just wish friends were a thing here.

But it's just me. Not only I'm alone, it seems like, even though everyone else is alone like me, they don't seem to feel bad. I don't know if they're hiding it or if they truly feel alright.

÷Why are you wearing a mask?
Hiding your feelings? Or protecting yourself from the contagious madness that is plaguing our world? Or both?÷

Boredom, loneliness and apathy are better than being tortured, aren't they? I always had a strong fear of Eţpaòļ.

我的放屁是臭

Maybe we were all born to suffer. I wanted to ask Georgia why life was so bad but in our reality showing your feelings is deemed as inappropriate. But perhaps she's different from "normal" people? I've already shown my feelings anyway.

"Why can't people show their feelings?", I ask.

"Most people wouldn't care about other people's feelings anyway, so they learned not to show them, because showing them would have no benefits the vast majority of times", she explains.

"I hate this reality", I say.

"Are there any other realities?", she asks, confused.

"Probably, but if there are, we can't reach them yet", I say, sad. I know there are other realities but people would call me crazy if I said I was sure.

"That's science fiction", she says. I knew it, she's like everyone else. She doesn't believe in it. I will change the topic.

"Why are people so lonely?", I ask.

"Do you do anything to prevent any other person's loneliness?", she asks.

"No", I admit.

"Most people are like that. They complain about their problems but don't do anything to help others feel better", she explains.

Everything's clear now.

"I understand, if I cannot be happy myself, I will make other people happy", I say.

"You can be happy. I'm here for that", she says, smiling.

Maybe we just need other people to feel happy? But even though I'm surrounded by people, I still feel bad. Maybe people need to be conscious to make others happy.

"Thank you", I say, grateful. I've never received any kindness before. It feels pretty good.

We sit down together listening to the toxic rain falling on the metallic roof. I used to listen to the rain (both toxic and non) falling on my house's roof as a child. I found it relaxing and I hoped some day I would be cuddled and happy. How innocent was I.

20 years later, I'm not a child anymore, and the cold hard truth hit me hard in the stomach (metaforically). There's only work and pain in this sad reality. No joy whatsoever. Fun is not allowed in this reality. I'm so used to feel bad, I couldn't recognize happiness even if it happens. Am I supposed to be happy now? What is this bittersweet feeling? I feel like her kindness isn't going to last long. What can go wrong, will go wrong. And this can definitely go wrong.

I remember I used to think my pain would be over soon. How naive was I. Many people have died without feeling any happiness in their lives. 80 years (or even less) of pure sorrow await most people's lives, and then, nothingness, forever. What makes me think I'm not one of these people? In fact, I am. I'll never be happy in my life. My life will be filled with loneliness just like everyone else's. But is this the case, that she's trying to make me happy?

"Are you trying to make me happy?", I ask.

She smiles and puts her arm on my shoulder.

"Everyone deserves to be happy", she says, smiling.

Something is happening within my soul. What is this emotion? Am I truly happy now? I thought kindness didn't exist in real life. People don't even mention it. Not that they talk much anyway. But why is she different? Does she come from a different reality? Do I come from a different reality? Perhaps our brains are wired differently.

"Why are you so kind?", I ask, smiling and blushing.

"Because I feel like everyone deserves to be happy, so I try to bring joy into other people's lives", she says.

"Do you usually manage to make others happy?", I ask.

"I think yes, because they leave with a smile, even though it's obvious they try to hide it. But you don't have to hide your emotions around me", she says.

"Can I hug you again?", I ask.

"Sure", she says, smiling calmly.

I hug her and it feels very comforting.

These days are so full of emotions. I think my pain might finally be over. At last. I exhale deeply and try to calm down. Being in her arms is so comforting. Finally someone understands my pain, and it's making it go away. I have never been comforted by another person in my life before today. I've truly been blessed: I think virtually no one has been comforted in their lifetimes. But why am I still unsatisfied? I wish this couldn't be considered luck. I wish everyone could be kind and feel happy, but what can I do about it? I think I should spread my message to the world. Yes, I wish everyone to be happy! The pain has to stop for everyone in the world, forever. I wish people would care for each other and had a desire to help relieve other people's suffering. That is the world I want to live in, not this one. I want to change the world.

"I want everyone to be happy", I say.

"Just be kind", she says, smiling.

I never thought about this. Perhaps I was not that kind after all? Perhaps I was just a selfish guy who only thought about himself, and not about others?

"Do you want to be face-farted by another girl?", she asked.

"Yes, please, but her farts must stink just right. Not too little, not too much", I say.

"I'm not sure how stinky you want them, though", she said.

"Like, a bit stinkier than average, I guess", I say.

"Okay, I think I know which girl suits best for you", she says, hugging me and rubbing my back for a few seconds.

She then left me waiting here, alone with my thoughts. I look at the ceiling. Toxic rain hasn't stopped falling yet and everything feels relaxing, but also, this is my last hope: if this girl doesn't meet my standards, then I'm doomed forever. Yes, of course, Georgia is really nice to me, so perhaps I could live happily anyway, even though I know it perfectly, that as soon as I'll come home, pain will come back and it will be more painful than ever before. It's like a scar that is opened again, but this time, the scar is in my soul.

I'm looking forward to live happily. The truth is: I'll be happy today, but I cannot spend 60G everyday just to keep myself happy. I know it will be a heart-breaking life. My soul is broken and can't probably be fixed. Or perhaps I need lots of kindness, and I can be kind to others in return. I don't know, but surely my life has no meaning. We just are born, live, reproduce and die. That's the cold hard truth. To me, the meaning of life would have been "be happy". But seriously, this reality has nothing happy happening within it. There's no peace, there's no light, only darkness painted in blood. We'll have to kneel before the gods who bring emotional pain and suffering, for we are nothing but mere beasts. A catastrophic doomsday awaits for our souls, and only kindness can prevent this from happening, but no one is kind anyway. Georgia, I'm sorry for this, but you'll have to show lots of kindness for me to feel better. But, thinking about it, her words and her sweet voice indeed made me feel better. But I should listen to her voice everyday for my wounds to be healed.

^^^My demons are better than yoursvvv

Pleasure is meant to be fully enjoyed, pain is meant to be escaped at all costs. It's the biosphere's nature, both at microscopical and macroscopical levels.

I don't believe in finalism. If I did, I wouldn't be able to explain the existence of toxic rain, which causes damage to both plants and animals. I feel like life happened randomly and that we don't have a purpose. We are just the Universe's anomaly. Maybe we live in a simulation made by higher beings. We don't know. We can't know. We can't have knowledge of something happening in a metaphysical space. Perhaps other realities exist, yes, I'm sure about it! My reality is just one of infinite realities! If only I could reach the others... perhaps the laws of logic are the same in every reality. I wish I could discover some kinds of exotic type of matter, then become famous and happy. It's only a matter of time before falling back into a dark abyss of sadness, but I'm not thinking about it and just enjoy this moment instead. I'll have time to think about sadness when I'll be sad, not now that I'm happy.

おならBut happiness doesn't exist! You're creating a dangerous paradox, stop it!を嗅ぐがとても欲しい

Äštōkèk, Georgia and Dorothy are very kind, but still, I think I will never see them again. I will be as lonely as always after I wave them goodbye. Sometimes I wonder what I've done wrong to deserve this suffering. I think suffering shouldn't exist and everyone should feel good. But is that possible? Why don't we stop reproducing, so that suffering won't exist anymore? Perhaps we like suffering as a species, since no one I met before today likes to make others happy. Too bad, but I can resist. I can tolerate the pain until the day I die, I have no choice by the way. I see others as being happy, and I envy them so much. Today is my only happy day I ever had and will ever have in my entire life, I have to enjoy it. Strangely, when you enjoy something, time passes very fast, to the point an hour seems like 5 minutes compared to when I'm suffering. Since tomorrow, I'll suffer again in loneliness, and will live a slow and painful life.

+The pain I always feel
-The joy I will never feel

I still love this moment. Too bad it's going to end soon and then I'll be so sick I will feel forlorn forever. I will die alone and my corpse will be buried in Kväb Cemetery and there will be no funeral for my formerly living existence. Forgotten by everyone, my name shall not live in history and I won't live in anyone's memory. All my experiences will be wiped out forever after a miserable existence. No one will know about me, I'll never improve anything in this world as I'm metaphorically voiceless. My life is a life of suffering and there's nothing I can do except suffering until the day I die. At least I'll stop suffering then, even though I won't be able to realize it. I long for the day I'll be no more, but for now, let's just enjoy this moment and

!!!DIE!!!

There's no escape from this. There's nothing I can do to withdraw from this impending doom. Äštōkèk might be sweet and kind, but I'll probably never see her again. I will leave this facefarting center with a bittersweet feeling, ready to embrace darkness again. The distant light that was warm and bright is here and it's about to fade away into oblivion forever, turning my life into an utterly dark hell. There will be no peace, only torment for my damned soul. I will never see my soul shine again, only a shadow filled with negativity and despair. The sunshine will never caress me again, it will only burn me. It's crazy. Feelings! I dream of me and you walking hand in hand, but the only "you" I get are my dark thoughts, forever and always. My dark thoughts have no hands, but if they had hands, they would slap me so hard.

= STARING INTO MY EYES = STARING INTO THE VOID =

"If I told you, that you could live with us, what would you say arō?", she asked me.

My heart was beating in utter joy and ecstasy.

"I... w-would say yes!", I say, shivering a bit.

From that day, my life has never been painful again.

;;;HAHAHA YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?;;;

♪I'll never say goodbye to the darkness♪
♪It follows me like a shadow♪
♪And it grows with me♪
♪Erasing all of my energies♪

Sitting in a dark corner of my room
Crying and crying waiting for my doom
Happy? A memory of my distant past
I don't know how longer I can last

The Sun has forgotten me
Darkness spreads like a disease
There's nothing I can see
Blinded by my own emotions

There's no hope, there's no light
Only misery tainted in black
Will you heal my spiritual wounds?
But I'm talking to myself all the time

These salty tears are my only friends
I gave up hoping years ago
There's nothing left to hope about
When all the light is gone forever

♪Do you feel better now?♪

, and everyone cared about each other's feelings, because no one wanted to feel sad, ever.

LOL (Let Others Live)

But Gaians... one day they'll all be happy, one day...

LMAO (Losing My Apathy Over)

Lucy pretended to laugh but deep inside she was feeling horrible due to her depression. She had a very low self-esteem and didn't enjoy life anymore. All she did was hiding in her bedroom and crying.

)Somehow we lost the ability to connect with others(

---
Today I feel weird, different than usual, but strangely, it's a nice feeling. I've never felt this happy before. What's happening? Is it possible that my sadness went away? Forever? Will I be happy forever? I feel like I'm free from the weight of the world. How is it possible? I don't know, but I feel so happy and light. I don't remember why I was so sad in the first place, but I'm glad that feeling went away. I feel so relieved, but let's stop being grateful for it and I shall live my new happy life.

I exit my house and walk through the streets. I see happy people walking and I smile. My friend Aria is smiling at me. I hug her and I tell her how happy I am to see her.

"Come at my house, we'll have fun!", she said, happily.

I followed her and we started playing videogames. There was a boss we couldn't defeat so we decided to keep trying tomorrow.

"And now, what will we do?", she asked.

"I have an idea!", I said, a bit embarrassed but still determined to tell her.

"What?", she asked, smiling.

I'm feeling embarrassed, but it's not a bad feeling. I think I'll never be sad anymore, is this a good thing? It feels surreal.

"Promise not to judge me", I said, giggling.

"What is that?", she said, giggling as well, then she smiled, "I promise not to judge you. I would never do such a thing".

I smiled, I finally felt understood. Is this the first time in my life that such a thing happens? I'm feeling butterflies in my stomach, it feels really good. Why was I feeling so sad before this? I can't remember. Why should I be sad if I have a friend like Aria with me? She is all I need. As long as she is with me, I don't need to worry about anything.

I smiled and told her:"I know it might sound like a weird request, but I would like to smell your farts"

"Are you serious?", she asked, probably wondering if I was joking.

"I'm not joking. I don't know why but I like girls' farts. I understand if you don't want to do it, though", I said.

"Hey, I would do anything to make you happy, you're my best friend", she said, smiling.

I wanted to cry... well, I actually cried after she said that.

"Hey buddy, is something wrong?", she asked, worried.

"I'm okay", I said, bursting into tears.

"Do you need a hug?", she asked, smiling and opening her arms.

"Yes, please", I said, and she hugged me tight. It felt really comforting.

I don't remember what made me so sad before this day, to be honest I barely remember my life before today, but now that everything is over and I have Aria with me, I am safe. Her hug feels like heaven on Earth.

"You're an angel", I told her, smiling.

"Thank you! It feels nice to hear these things from someone as special as you", she said, hugging me tighter.

"I have a fart now, do you want to smell it?", she said, smiling.

"Yes", I said, smiling gratefully.

She warmly said:"put your nose here" and smiled. I did as she said and she let out a fart that sounded like *blooorpt*. I sniffed her fart up and it felt like heaven. It was really stinky and smelt like old broccoli and spoiled milk. I think I remember why I was sad! My memory is starting to come back. I was sad because I was worrying too much about things I couldn't control instead of enjoying the little things my life had to offer.

I shouldn't be sad for those things. Yes, they're bad, yes, life is not perfect, but that doesn't mean I should ignore the good little things I experience everyday. I had lost my innocence years ago, but today I want to be innocent again, just for a few hours. The only thing I should worry about now is the stench of Aria's farts.

"Your farts are really stinky, much stinkier than mine!", I said, giggling happily.

"Are you feeling better now?", she asked.

"Yeah! I'm really happy!", I said, with lots of energy and joy.

"I have another fart, quick!", she said, urging me to put my nose there again.

After experiencing those nasty fumes, I'm not sure I want to put my nose there again, but I need to, otherwise my newly found innocence will fade away again.

*ppprrraaabbbttt*

Her fart was really stinky, it wasn't easy to breathe that stuff in, but I did it because I didn't want to be sad anymore. Her farts were the source of my happiness, and a necessary condition in order not to fall into depression and hopelessness again. That smell was putrid but heavenly at the same time, it made me feel loved and understood. Was this the thing I have longed for so long? Was all this enough to make me feel happy again? All I needed to be happy was the innocence of a child, which I had lost years ago. Being an adult is horrible, but even that is a part of life that we must accept.

"What are you thinking about?", she asked, giggling happily.

"Ohhh... nothing, really", I said, laughing a bit.

ΩThese voices inside my head are slowly killing meΩ

All the sins we committed
Were they really sins?
Good and evil are subjective
Our own interpretation of reality

???No proof their morality is given by God???

We can't walk hand in hand in the park
They would kill us, better keep it secret
I wish one day we'll be happy and free
But in the end, I will always love you

cʎ̝̊ʼWho could ever imagine I'm feeling so sad?kʟ̝̊ʼ

"I need a hug", I say, proud of my courage.

She smiles, opens her arms and holds me tight. I want to cry, but I need to be strong. I can't cry now.

"I will always be your friend, no matter what", she says.

Those words made me burst into tears.

"What's wrong, buddy?", she asked, worried and caressing my back.

"I'm crying because you're making me happy", I said, with an overwhelming joy.

おならHow long will this joy last?С ужасным запахом. Mein Herz brennt mit Hoffnung!

"Thank you for everything you're doing, you're an angel. Your actions are having a positive impact in this world", I said, and she smiled.

"I love making people happy", she said, smiling gently.

"Can I hug you?", I asked, blushing a bit.

"Sure! You can hug me anytime you want, for as long as you want", she said, opening her arms.

[JOIN MY SIDE, WE HAVE HUGS]

"Thank you for being my friend", she said, smiling warmly.

[IS IT POSSIBLE NOT TO HATE?]

-----

Hey... is something wrong? Do you want to talk about it? Okay, you can sit near me on the bed, come here. Good. Okay, you can talk about it if you feel comfortable. Okay, I see, lots of bad things are happening in your life, but you're not alone, I'm here for you, and I'll always be. Don't worry, it's okay to cry, let your tears flow freely, you're safe from negative judgement with me. It's just you and me now. Can I hug you? Okay thanks, it makes comforting you much easier. There you go... are you feeling better now? Good, I will hug you as long as you want, anytime you want.

Yeah, life can be hard sometimes, many philosophers, like Schopenhauer, realized this. He said that life is like a pendulum that swings back and forth between pain and boredom. So, don't worry, it's not just you. Even Buddhism says life is suffering in the first noble truth. What I want to say is that the way you feel is perfectly normal, you're not weird at all.

Humans can feel happy, too, sometimes. For example, I'm happy when I'm with you, and I would do anything to make you smile and feel happy again. I care about you, and I want you to be happy. Don't worry, you can spend all the time you want with me. Even though things are not the best right now, I'll always be here for you.

Even if everything will go wrong, you'll never be alone. You can come to my house anytime you want, and we can play videogames, listen to music, anything you want. Oh, okay, you prefer if I give you some attention. Yeah, that's understandable. Yeah, you're right, maybe you prefer focusing on the problem instead of distracting yourself from it. It's okay, some people prefer talking about the problem itself while other people prefer distracting from it. Yeah and if you want to play videogames or anything else, just tell me, I'll do anything to comfort you.

No... please don't be embarrassed, what do you want? You want me to rub your back? Oh, but that's okay, there's no need to be embarrassed, I know how comforting a back rub can be. How does it feel? Good? That's great, I can keep rubbing your back and chatting with you for as long as you want. You deserve a lot of love, you're an amazing person. Even though life can be harsh sometimes, or even often, you're not alone.

Just one thing, I have to ask you a favour. If someone you know is going through a difficult time, please try to comfort them. It can help that person a lot. Thank you so much.

###WHEN WILL IT END@@@

I'm crying alone in my bedroom now, I really miss her, I really do. When I was with her, everything looked brighter, now everything is dark and Shaytan is whispering negative affirmations in my ears.

Tears are wetting my clothes and the blankets as I cry uncontrollably. There is no one comforting me now, and even if there was, it would be impossible to comfort me now.

ǃ̬˞So much sadnessǃ̬˞

I turn my laptop on, search "ASMR depression" on VideoSearch, and try to feel better. Honestly, everyday is like this.

"Try to stop focusing on what you don't like in your life, and try to focus on what you like instead", said the girl in the video.

Focusing on what I like in my life? There is nothing I like in my life!

&feeling=everlasting_torment&page=∞

"Are you sure you are happy? You don't sound like you're happy! You can talk about it if you want", she said, worried, and returning to a normal position.

She looked at me in the eyes with a worried face that screamed "empathy".

"I don't know why, but I'm feeling sad. I can't understand why though", I said.

"Do you have any close friend?", she asked.

"No, I'm very lonely", I said.

"Maybe that's why", she suggested.

"What should I do to make these feelings stop?", I asked.

"I don't know, but I can hug you to comfort you if you want", she said, smiling.

"Yes, please", I said.

She hugged me and it's a feeling I think I never felt before. It's really comforting. I'm about to cry now, and I think she noticed.

"You can cry if you want", she said, calmly.

My tears were falling on her shirt, and she rubbed my back. It felt awesome. I'm feeling a lot better now.

"You can keep hugging me for as long as you want", she said.

We kept hugging for about two minutes and when the hug ended I felt like the negativity went away and I strangely feel happy for the first time after a long time.

"Thank you", I said, feeling very relieved from the negative emotions that kept haunting my mind for years.

"I love you", she said, touching my shoulder.

"I love you too, and I'm glad I know a caring person like you", I said, happy.

∆NEVER STOP COMFORTING ME∆

'Cause the effects of this damn medication
They ain't gonna solve anything in my life
And all my sad buddies in this global nation
They're gonna stab themselves with a knife

Sorry, I became manic again. Time to hug a friend of mine and calm myself down. Oh, wait, this razorblade and this knife are the only friends I have.

ʘ̬It's so sad, isn't it?ʘ̬

So many tears have fallen from my eyes, so many nights spent awake trying to make sense of this merciless reality, but... could it be? Could it be that sometimes life is how I choose to see it? I'm the master of my own reality, I can reach whatever goal I set if I want to. I'll never back down anymore, nothing is impossible, I'm invincible! I dry my tears with the sleeve of my t-shirt and I have decided that whatever happens, I won't let my demons drown me into the lake of fire. I'm stronger than them! I sigh and I'm determined to wage a war against my depression.

WAR AGAINST MY DEPRESSION! I'm armed to the bones, you can't win!

WAR AGAINST MY DEPRESSION! You are the most overpowered final boss ever seen!

But I'll win, I won't let you kill me. Now everything looks clearer and the confused and delusional thoughts are no more a thing. I've defeated you many times before, but you resurrected and came back to haunt my mind, however now I'll make sure you're dead forever, so that you'll never bother me again.

"You did it!", said a girl, happy.

"I did what?", I asked, confused.

"You killed the demon that haunted our village and made everyone sad, now it's gone! You are a hero!", said the girl, happy.

"Uhm... I wouldn't be so optimistic if I were you, this thing will probably come back in a few weeks, or in a few months if we're being optimistic", I said, shrugging.

"No, it will not come back this time, you killed it permanently", she said, proud of what I did.

_No, I didn't_№ø...

What should I do from now on, though? I'm so alone, but strangely, not sad at all today. I watch some fart videos on the Internet and I finally realized I should be deeply grateful that these videos exist. I'm not the only one who likes this stuff, but I wonder if one day I will have some online friends, too.

ÐWONDERÐ

"Are you okay? You seem so sad", said ʌɬɔkʼɛ, worried about ʁyχɜɹ looking sad.

"Sure", said ʁyχɜɹ, pretending he was happy. Actually, he was sad, but he didn't want to tell her why.

"You don't look like you're happy. Come on, you can tell me!", she told him, smiling gently.

"Okay, well, you are right, I'm not happy. But it's too embarrassing to tell why", he said, blushing a bit.

"I see, we can talk in private if you want. You've been looking sad in the past few days", she said.

"Okay, let's go", he said, going in a room somewhere far from other people.

Once they went into the room, ʌɬɔkʼɛ asked ʁyχɜɹ what was wrong.

ŴWHAT'S WRONG? TELL ME! TELL ME! I WANT TO KNOWŴ

"There's no need to worry now, from now on I will often hug you and fart on your face. If you would like me doing that, that's it. I would do anything to make you happy", she said, smiling gently.

ʁyχɜɹ smiled and felt really grateful to have such an angel as his friend.

"Thank you so much, θɵθɵθ. I also hope you will

Ĥ#Ĥ

Total indifference towards almost everything. Did I reach an

altered

state

of

mind

?

(?x?x(?x?))x(?x?)x___

___&feeling=apathy.

&_No, it cannot be_&

Looking forward to another great day
Tomorrow will be awesome, just like you
If the circumstances are so positive
Then why am I crying so often?

}TELL ME WHY!!!{

Your smile comforts me, let me believe
That everything will be alright

}LET ME BELIEVE!!!{