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Uh... my head hurts. How did I end up here? How did I end up talking about history, philosophy, religion, politics and other strange stuff? I know I grew up, I know I'm not a teenager anymore, but I kinda wish I could be innocent, simple and happy again, without worrying about freedom of speech, censorship, Islam, Communism, violence, depression and other stuff. I want farts to be the focus of my life again.
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Be careful what you wish for, because sometimes, dreams come true.
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Today I feel weird, different than usual, but strangely, it's a nice feeling. I've never felt this happy before. What's happening? Is it possible that my sadness went away? Forever? Will I be happy forever? I feel like I'm free from the weight of the world. How is it possible? I don't know, but I feel so happy and light. I don't remember why I was so sad in the first place, but I'm glad that feeling went away. I feel so relieved, but let's stop being grateful for it and I shall live my new happy life.
I exit my house and walk through the streets. I see happy people walking and I smile. My friend Aria is smiling at me. I hug her and I tell her how happy I am to see her.
"Come at my house, we'll have fun!", she said, happily.
I followed her and we started playing videogames. There was a boss we couldn't defeat so we decided to keep trying tomorrow.
"And now, what will we do?", she asked.
"I have an idea!", I said, a bit embarrassed but still determined to tell her.
"What?", she asked, smiling.
I'm feeling embarrassed, but it's not a bad feeling. I think I'll never be sad anymore, is this a good thing? It feels surreal.
"Promise not to judge me", I said, giggling.
"What is that?", she said, giggling as well, then she smiled, "I promise not to judge you. I would never do such a thing".
I smiled, I finally felt understood. Is this the first time in my life that such a thing happens? I'm feeling butterflies in my stomach, it feels really good. Why was I feeling so sad before this? I can't remember. Why should I be sad if I have a friend like Aria with me? She is all I need. As long as she is with me, I don't need to worry about anything.
I smiled and told her:"I know it might sound like a weird request, but I would like to smell your farts"
"Are you serious?", she asked, probably wondering if I was joking.
"I'm not joking. I don't know why but I like girls' farts. I understand if you don't want to do it, though", I said.
"Hey, I would do anything to make you happy, you're my best friend", she said, smiling.
I wanted to cry... well, I actually cried after she said that.
"Hey buddy, is something wrong?", she asked, worried.
"I'm okay", I said, bursting into tears.
"Do you need a hug?", she asked, smiling and opening her arms.
"Yes, please", I said, and she hugged me tight. It felt really comforting.
I don't remember what made me so sad before this day, to be honest I barely remember my life before today, but now that everything is over and I have Aria with me, I am safe. Her hug feels like heaven on Earth.
"You're an angel", I told her, smiling.
"Thank you! It feels nice to hear these things from someone as special as you", she said, hugging me tighter.
"I have a fart now, do you want to smell it?", she said, smiling.
"Yes", I said, smiling gratefully.
She warmly said:"put your nose here" and smiled. I did as she said and she let out a fart that sounded like *blooorpt*. I sniffed her fart up and it felt like heaven. It was really stinky and smelt like old broccoli and spoiled milk. I think I remember why I was sad! My memory is starting to come back. I was sad because I was worrying too much about things I couldn't control instead of enjoying the little things my life had to offer.
I shouldn't be sad for those things. Yes, they're bad, yes, life is not perfect, but that doesn't mean I should ignore the good little things I experience everyday. I had lost my innocence years ago, but today I want to be innocent again, just for a few hours. The only thing I should worry about now is the stench of Aria's farts.
"Your farts are really stinky, much stinkier than mine!", I said, giggling happily.
"Are you feeling better now?", she asked.
"Yeah! I'm really happy!", I said, with lots of energy and joy.
"I have another fart, quick!", she said, urging me to put my nose there again.
After experiencing those nasty fumes, I'm not sure I want to put my nose there again, but I need to, otherwise my newly found innocence will fade away again.
*ppprrraaabbbttt*
Her fart was really stinky, it wasn't easy to breathe that stuff in, but I did it because I didn't want to be sad anymore. Her farts were the source of my happiness, and a necessary condition in order not to fall into depression and hopelessness again. That smell was putrid but heavenly at the same time, it made me feel loved and understood. Was this the thing I have longed for so long? Was all this enough to make me feel happy again? All I needed to be happy was the innocence of a child, which I had lost years ago. Being an adult is horrible, but even that is a part of life that we must accept.
"What are you thinking about?", she asked, giggling happily.
"Ohhh... nothing, really", I said, laughing a bit.
All that I needed to be happy again was thinking like a child again. Well, I'm not saying that face-farting is for children, but it's still way more innocent than talking about philosophy, religion, history and politics. I'm not even saying talking about farts will make me happy again, but right now I feel myself in a peaceful state of mind. Sometimes we all need to stop thinking about the things that make us sad, at least for a few hours. Reality won't change, problems won't disappear, but our state of mind will focus on something that we like instead of constantly focusing on something we don't like.
"Are you sure?", she asked, giggling, "you look like someone who is thinking about something deep", she said, smiling.
"I'm just thinking about how happy I am", I said, smiling cheerfully.
She opened her arms and hugged me tight.
"I have another fart!", she said, smiling and turning around.
*ppprrruuurrrppp*
I was so happy that I felt like I could never be sad again. All I needed was being innocent again. Going back through time, into my happiest memories of the past.
Even though her farts stink so much I can't breathe without gagging, I'm glad I'm here in this innocent and child-like situation instead of worrying about the future of censorship in the European Union.