This is a mix between a sad/depressing/comforting story and a fart fetish story.
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I miss talking to Clara. The last time I saw her was five years ago. After that moment, I waited and waited, but never saw her again.
The last time we met we were talking about... uhm... her farts. I don't remember how we got into that topic, but I remember the last thing she said was "When we'll meet again, I'll make you smell my farts if you want to, I promise", she smiled, hugged me, waved her hands goodbye, and left.
I didn't see her very often, but oh do I miss her. Of course I miss her. I used to think I would see her again, but that didn't happen. Sometimes I cried and cried but I didn't feel any better after crying. I want to see her but I don't have her phone number and there's no way I can contact her again.
I know there's no use in crying over things I can't control, but I can't control my cries. As I said before, we didn't see each other very often, but when I saw her I was happy. Now it's like these happy memories are just a distant light that's getting darker each day. Negative feelings are haunting my mind and there's nothing I can do about that. I don't think I'll ever see her again.
I'm crying alone in my bedroom now, I really miss her, I really do. When I was with her, everything looked brighter, now everything is dark and Shaytan is whispering negative affirmations in my ears.
Tears are wetting my clothes and the blankets as I cry uncontrollably. There is no one comforting me now, and even if there was, it would be impossible to comfort me now. I want to see Clara again.
It's not only because I want to smell her farts and see how stinky they are, I miss the moments I spent with her and I really want to see her and spend some time together like we used to, but I also realize we both grew up, and maybe our personalities changed as well. My personality did change a bit, not sure about hers though. We were 15 years old back then, and now we're 20.
I have no idea where she is and what she is doing now. I know I should just forget about her and keep living my life as usual, but I can't stop thinking about her. I know I'll never see her again. I should get used to this thought that my happy moments will her will never come back, but that's okay, sometimes people lose contacts with each other and never see each other again. It's okay, it's okay... oh who am I fooling? It's obviously not okay, I can't trick my brain to think otherwise. I used to play videogames a lot with her, and now I have no one to play videogames with. I shall be strong.
It was a stressful day at work today, like everyday, and I just came home. I still live with my parents because living alone scares me. I can't seem to find a roommate. I didn't even greet my parents, because I don't have a good relationship with them. They don't want to spend time with me, they want to avoid me.
I turn my laptop on, search "ASMR depression" on VideoSearch, and try to feel better. Honestly, everyday is like this.
"Try to stop focusing on what you don't like in your life, and try to focus on what you like instead", said the girl in the video.
Focusing on what I like in my life? There is nothing I like in my life!
Everyone else in the fart community talks about their experiences with females farting, and I have nothing to tell, because I never had any experience with that. I'm probably the unluckiest person ever.
I can imagine myself getting facefarted by a cute girl, but that's not gonna happen.
"Yes, Deis, I'll fart on your face", will say no girl ever. Unfortunately in this region people are not very open-minded, and I suffer because of this. My life is basically like me being carried by a current, whatever happens, happens, but I don't actively do anything to make things happen. I just daydream and hope for things to happen.
"My farts are the stinkiest farts you'll ever smell~", I daydream about a girl saying that.
"Yeah, because they'll be the only farts I'll ever smell, but even that's not true, because you're not real", I reply.
My daydreaming stopped. I can't even daydream anymore, and you know, when someone can't even daydream anymore, it's the end. Everything is dark, I'm losing touch with reality and starting to fall into the nothingness. I used to daydream about happy and comforting worlds, but now these places are disappearing from my mind. I know daydream about an infinite void where nothing ever happens.
But why am I so sad? There is certainly something more than simply not being facefarted. Yeah, I know very well that's not the reason of my sadness. I need love in my life, I couldn't care less about farts.
There's no use in crying over the past, I should look for the future now. The future isn't certainly shining bright, but I can make through it. Everyone is happy but me. What is this feeling? I think this feeling is called "hopelessness".
Tomorrow I'll go to work and keep living my depressing life until the day I'll die. Yeah, that will be my fate, which is the same fate of billions of people in this region only.
---
"So, you like smelling girls farts", she said, in a non-judgemental tone.
"Exactly", I said, a bit shy.
"Is that a strong desire of yours?", she asked.
"I would like it, but I don't want to consider any person as the source of my sexual pleasure. People are living beings with feelings, not objects", I said.
"I can make your wishes come true!", she said, happy and cheerful.
"Are you sure you are okay to do that?", I ask, worried.
"I would do anything to make you happy", she said, smiling excited.
"Okay", I said.
Why am I feeling so sad now? I should be happy, but for some reason I'm not.
"Yeah, Deis, I'll fart on your face", she said, happy.
"Y-yeah", I say, trying to smile.
"Is something wrong?", she asked, worried.
"N-no, of course not. I'm really happy", I said.
I'm not feeling happy. I'm overwhelmed by sadness. But why? Is it because she's not Clara? Is it because I don't want to use another person as the source of my sexual pleasure? Or is it, perhaps, because this is not what I really wanted? I can't explain the origin of this sadness. Am I depressed?
"I have one now. You can put your nose on my ass~", she said, in a sexy tone, but I'm still not happy.
I put my nose on her ass.
*pppbbbrrrtttfffttt*
It smells really "bad", but in a good way. I like it, but this isn't making me feel any better. I'd rather read a fart story, watch a fart anime or play a fart videogame than keep doing this thing, but not even the things I said I'd rather do would make me happy.
"How does it smell?", she asks me, teasing.
"It smells wonderful", I say, but I'm still sad.
"Good good, because I have a looot of other ones~", she said, happy.
Why isn't her happiness contagious? Why do I feel like there's a wall between me and positive feelings? What have I done wrong to deserve this everlasting melancholy?
"I'm happy", I said, but my voice wasn't convincing.
"Are you sure you are happy? You don't sound like you're happy! You can talk about it if you want", she said, worried, and returning to a normal position.
She looked at me in the eyes with a worried face that screamed "empathy".
"I don't know why, but I'm feeling sad. I can't understand why though", I said.
"Do you have any close friend?", she asked.
"No, I'm very lonely", I said.
"Maybe that's why", she suggested.
"What should I do to make these feelings stop?", I asked.
"I don't know, but I can hug you to comfort you if you want", she said, smiling.
"Yes, please", I said.
She hugged me and it's a feeling I think I never felt before. It's really comforting. I'm about to cry now, and I think she noticed.
"You can cry if you want", she said, calmly.
My tears were falling on her shirt, and she rubbed my back. It felt awesome. I'm feeling a lot better now.
"You can keep hugging me for as long as you want", she said.
We kept hugging for about two minutes and when the hug ended I felt like the negativity went away and I strangely feel happy for the first time after a long time.
"Thank you", I said, feeling very relieved from the negative emotions that kept haunting my mind for years.
"I love you", she said, touching my shoulder.
"I love you too, and I'm glad I know a caring person like you", I said, happy.
"Do you want to smell my farts again?", she asked, happy.
"Wait. Will we see each other everyday? I'm so lonely", I said.
"Of course, I will hug you everyday as well, if you want it", she said, smiling happy.
"Yes, I would like to smell your farts again", I said, smiling sincerely. It feels good to be happy, and honestly I forgot about how it felt like.
She turned around and I put my nose on her ass again.
*pppbbbrrruuurrrttt*
It smelt like rotten broccoli and spoiled milk, just the way I like it. I sniffed it and enjoyed the smell. Is this what I really want though? Well it doesn't matter, she seems happy doing this, and I'm happy, too, so why not?
I don't need to think about Clara anymore. Sometimes you lose contacts with people in your life. Eh, it happens.
*pppbbrrruuuttt*
"Wow, it smells really good!", I said, enjoying this nasty fragrance. I wonder how long this happiness lasts, though.
This smell is a bit difficult to inhale, but I can manage it. I like smelling girls farts, even if they stink really bad.
I will always keep these memories in my head until the day I'll die. Even if I won't be friends with her anymore, which I hope will not happen, I think that I shouldn't be nostalgic over good moments that will never happen again. I should just live in the present and seize the day.
"I think my farts are over now, but let's go to the supermarket and buy some beans!", she said, smiling.
"We'll buy something for me, too. I'm hungry", I said.
She smiled.
Today was an awesome day, I just hope my sadness won't come back, even though that's just asking too much. So now we're going to the supermarket to buy some beans to make her fart more I suppose.
"Will we see each other tomorrow, too?", I asked.
"Yeah, but only tomorrow", she said.
"W-what? What do you mean?", I asked, very worried that we won't see each other again.
"Only tomorrow because I'll kill you with my farts tomorrow if I eat beans for breakfast~", she said, giggling.
"So, you were just kidding?", I asked.
"Yes, of course, we'll see each other everyday!", she said, smiling excited.
"I feel better now", I said, smiling.
She rubbed my shoulder a little bit and smiled at me.
"You'll never be lonely again. We'll play a lot together", she said, smiling happily.
What a bittersweet life. Most of your life will be sadness and anxiety, and positive feelings are very short and rare, but it's those happy moments that will let you carry on and find a meaning in your life. I want to smile again.